Happy Day Before Christmas

Christmas. The season of happiness and cheer. Of family and festivities. That's what many say Christmas is all about, right?

The truth is, Christmas isn't always a happy time. I'm not referring to the "stress of the season" because we are oh so busy with baking and shopping and parties. I'm talking about sadness, tragedy, heartbreak. The Christmas season is not devoid of these things.

Last year my ex-husband J's brother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in early December. Long before Covid became a thing, his family was dealing with this terrible news. They tried everything: surgery, chemo, radiation, rehab. None of it worked. They gave him months to live. His family prayed for a miracle, and he lived longer than the doctors expected, but on October 15 he succumbed to the cancer. He would have turned 49 the following month.

Two months prior to his passing, Grandma was told her kidneys were not functioning well and she would need to go on dialysis immediately. She refused. Her emotional pain was so great that she declared if her son died she wanted to die as well. Her five remaining children begged her to go for treatment. Brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, grandchildren, all tried to reason with her. She would not have it. She'd lost her mother 5 years ago, her sister 2 years later, and her husband of 59 years in September 2019. All these she'd managed as best she could, but the impending death of her son was more than she could bear. She gave up.

On December 16 I got a call from J. He was in hysterics. His mother was dying. I asked what was going on but all he could tell me was that, since the death of his brother, all his mother talked about was dying. I had to calm him down because he was absolutely frantic. After talking with his cousin, I found out Grandma had been taken to the hospital the previous week because her liver was functioning at 4% and she had sepsis. They began dialysis immediately, but it appears it was too little too late. Over the weekend she suffered 1-2 strokes (not sure how many, conflicting reports) and then a minor heart attack. At one point she coded and was revived, but never regained consciousness. The oldest daughter was asked if they should revive her again if she had another episode, and she told them no. There was no knowing if she had brain damage or how much. They again hoped for a miracle, knowing full well it didn't look good.

On December 21 they extubated her. She passed away in the hospital near midnight on December 22. J and his family are devastated. They lost their brother just two months ago, and now they lost their mother three days before Christmas. My kids are very sad as well, because they've lost their grandmother and because they know how much their dad is hurting.   

Despite the sadness and tears (and I've shed many), I can say there is still joy this Christmas. Not happiness; happiness is a product of our circumstances, and these don't warrant any happy feelings right now. But there is joy. Joy is a product of the Holy Spirit, and surpasses our circumstances. It's the joy of knowing this life, filled with disappointments and heartache, is not all there is. It's the joy of a Savior that came down from His comfortable home in heaven to reside among us (Matthew 1:23). He did it because He knew we needed saving, and He was willing to take the punishment for our sins (Philippians 2:6-11). We have joy because we have hope beyond the troubles of this world, and that hope comes from the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) whose promises are true. 

Loss teaches us to appreciate what we have and those we've had. It reminds us to look at those around us and hug them tighter, cherish them more fully. No, I can't say I'm happy today. But I have much to be thankful for despite my unhappiness. I hope you have happiness this Christmas, but if you don't, I hope you know the joy of the Lord.   

The Week In Review

It's been a week of ups and downs. That's fine if you like roller coasters. Me, not so much.

Monday we were awaken at 5:35 am to the police at my front door. Apparently, they'd received an "anonymous" call stating that there was furniture being moved around in my house and the sounds of a domestic disturbance. Both my son E and I were asleep and there was absolutely no sound coming from my home. I had to explain that my neighbor continuously accuses me falsely of making noises when in fact he is the one making all the noise. Thankfully, one of the officers has come on several occasions whenever my neighbor has called, and said the complaints have been determined to be unfounded. Nevertheless it was unnerving, especially considering what was coming up later that day. 

My son E had his dental appointment to remove his wisdom teeth that afternoon at 2:00. I am so incredibly thankful for the group of women in my Bible study class who prayed for my son's surgery. Everything went well, and while he was in a tremendous amount of pain that first day, it has lessened to the point where he is no longer in any pain. There is still some swelling inside his mouth which prevents him from chewing anything too hard, but he is able to eat. Good thing too - the medicines he is on (antibiotics and anti-inflammatory) make him sick to his stomach if he doesn't have any food in his system.

Sadly, just before we left for the dentist, I received a frantic call from my ex-husband J. His mother is dying. Back in October, J's brother succumbed to a brain tumor that was first detected in December of last year. Surgery, chemo, radiation, all tried but none worked.  He was a month shy of his 49th birthday. It was an extremely painful time for the family, but none suffered more than his mother. She had been told just a couple of months before that her kidneys were starting to fail (she is diabetic) and she would have to start dialysis. She refused. Her children begged her to reconsider, but she said if her son died she wanted to die as well. I believe that, having lost her husband in September of last year and finding out her son was dying of cancer, while her daughter had a double mastectomy in July, was too much for her and she was suffering from severe depression. At 77, her body can only take so much. Late last week she was vomiting and couldn't hold any food down. Her oldest daughter took her to the doctor, who told them her liver was only working at about 4% and she needed to go to the emergency room. Once in the hospital she was put on dialysis, but within a couple of days she suffered two strokes and a mini heart attack. As of today she is on a respirator, her vitals are stable but she is in a coma, and doctors don't know how much brain damage she's suffered or if there is any brain activity at all. She has been completely unresponsive since the strokes. The family is devastated. It's easy to say that the cause is her kidneys or the diabetes or the strokes or heart attack, but I believe she is dying of a broken heart. It has broken my own heart; no one can understand her pain unless they've experienced it themselves. We are all praying for a miracle, or for the Lord to take her away from her suffering. 

I did some more Christmas shopping on Friday, just last minute items and stocking stuffers. I was happy to go out. My neighbor left his tv set blasting from 6:00 am to 8:00 pm in his bedroom (which is directly below my master bedroom). While it's easy enough for me to close the bedroom door and not have to listen to it, I knew it would be the prelude to more harassment. I was right.

Saturday he got up at 10:30 am and began randomly punching the walls. I ignored it. Then around noon, he began blasting the tv set in his bedroom again while punching the walls. I was able to record him on my phone, then I called the police. My son needed to take his math test and he needed a quiet room to take the test in. My bedroom usually fits the bill, but with all that racket it was impossible. The police came, heard the noise and the recording, then tried to talk to him. Again he blamed me, said I was the one making all the noise, then told them I'm attacking him because he's Jewish. I had no idea he was Jewish. The man has a life size Buddha outside his front door; why would I think he was Jewish? Even his last name isn't Jewish. Once again, the Lord opened the eyes of the police and the sergeant recognized that the man is suffering from mental illness. He told me they would be investigating him to see why there are so many reports and complaints against him.

I'm so thankful for the gift my son R gave me for my birthday.

Monday morning I installed the Ring video doorbell beside my front door. It's been working like a charm. It allows me to see what is going on without having to run downstairs which is a huge blessing. 

And that brings us to today. We got home just a little while ago from having lunch with my daughter and son-in-law. They took me out today because tomorrow is my birthday. I didn't want my daughter to rush home from work to take me out to dinner, so instead we went out today. We had a lovely and pleasant afternoon walking around the mall after lunch and enjoying the gorgeous weather that December brings to South Florida. I am thankful that the Lord has seen fit to grant me another year with my loved ones. I pray that this next year I can live even more for Him, glorifying the Savior for all that He has done.

Have a blessed week y'all!

Recipe Time: Turkey Brine

I know Thanksgiving is over. We are in full Christmas mode. I also know some people like to have turkey again on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. I personally love turkey, but I've had turkey that falls short in the taste department. A dry turkey is not a yummy turkey. Years ago I learned about brining whenever I was watching Alton Brown on Good Eats. I did tweak his brine recipe a bit. That's what I love about doing things myself instead of pre-bought; I can modify it to my liking. This is how I make my brine. Feel free to tweak it to your liking, too.

Ingredients:

1 cup kosher salt

1/2 cup light brown sugar

1 gallon (4 quarts) vegetable or chicken stock

1 tbsp. black peppercorns

1/2 tbsp. allspice berries

1/2 tbsp. ginger root

Several sprigs of fresh rosemary, sage, and thyme

1 gallon ice water

I want to make clear that you want kosher salt and not table salt or iodized salt. There is a big difference. 

I typically use the Costco brand of chicken stock for my brine, but they were out. Instead I got the Swanson chicken stock which is also very good.

I used a total of nine cans and washed the lids thoroughly.

The rest of the ingredients are about flavoring the brine. The kosher salt is essential; everything else is pretty much about personal taste. I like adding fresh herbs to my brine but dried herbs would work as well. The brown sugar gives it a hint of sweetness, while the ginger root gives it some bite. 

Combine all the ingredients except for the ice water in a large stockpot, and bring to a boil. 

Stir to dissolve the solids, then remove from heat, cool to room temperature, and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. Late the night before cooking, combine the brine and ice water in a clean five gallon bucket or a brining bag (you can find them on Amazon). Place your thawed turkey breast side down in the brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in a cool area for 6-8 hours.

Next day, remove the turkey from the brine, rinse inside and out with cold water, pat the bird dry with paper towels, and it's ready for your next step. Don't forget to discard the brine. I like to smother my turkey with herbed butter for flavor. I also roast my turkey in an oven bag, though I've done it without the bag and it's still delicious. You don't need to add salt and pepper to your turkey because the meat absorbed it from the brine. What you will have is a moist, flavorful turkey that is always a hit. It's really that simple! I hope you give it a try.

Preparing The House For Christmas

While I don't go as overboard as I used to do whenever my kids were little, I still love and enjoy decorating my house for Christmas. It's a process that I've simplified over the years, especially now that my kids are grown. Funny enough, my youngest son tells me he misses the big production that was Christmas years ago. Still, I think he appreciates not only the amount of work that goes into decorating, but the beauty of a slightly more subtle Christmas. My hope is that, while making the home cozy and festive, we don't forget the true meaning of the season: Immanuel, God with us.

To start, I first had to take down all the fall decor that had been out since September.

It didn't seem like so much whenever I had it out around the house! I didn't even attempt to count the pumpkins - suffice it to say, there's a lot. Of course, there's more than just pumpkins here. This includes throw pillows, kitchen towels, outdoor decor and flower arrangements.

It's bittersweet to take the fall decor down (especially the pieces I picked up at Hobby Lobby just a week ago on clearance), but it was quickly replaced with the excitement of putting up the Christmas decor.

Next, furniture needed to be relocated.

One of my bookcases moved over to the wall separating the kitchen and the laundry area. This would make way for the Christmas tree. I like having the Christmas tree in front of the sliding glass door but not blocking our way out to the patio. I also like decorating the bookshelves, but if this is covered by the tree none of the decor can be appreciated.

In the master bedroom, I took out the armless chair that is part of the sectional and replaced it with the leather chair and ottoman. Again, this is to make way for the Christmas tree. I could potentially leave the chair in the living room, but it would make the room look crowded which I don't like. I draped a minty blue throw over the chair and added the lumbar pillow to soften the look.

My bed went from this:

To this:

Much as I love the pumpkin pillow I picked up from Costco this year, I do love this little pillow for Christmas/winter.

I got this from the Target dollar spot last year, I believe for $5. It's super cute, but honestly I picked it up because the colors were perfect with my bedroom decor. The other side is plaid and can be used throughout the winter.

The poinsettias I found at Hobby Lobby look beautiful in this vase. I put them before I did anything else because I was dying to see how they looked, and I am thoroughly loving them.

I decided to put up whatever decor I had recently bought before bringing up the tubs with all my stuff. I found these plates at TJ Maxx and I love them so much I may never put anything else up here.

They have a winter scene, which means I can leave them up until the spring - which I fully intend to do.

I also put my new Costco and Hobby Lobby pillows on the sofa with my big green pillow that I got years ago from Target. It's exactly how I pictured it would look.

The next day began the intense decorating, along with some changes that eventually happen whenever I'm decorating my home. Come back, there's plenty more to come!

Christmas Decorating: The Garland

Decorating for Christmas used to be a four day affair. From morning to night for days after Thanksgiving all I would do was put up villages, vignettes, stuffed animals, light up Santas and snowmen, and figurines all around the house. I decorated the formal living room, dining room, family room and kitchen. It's a good thing I did little to nothing in the rest of the house; I might be decorating till after Christmas! I don't do near as much anymore, but what I do I thoroughly enjoy. 

I have decor from years past and a few new pieces as well. Some of the items are from the years that I sold Christmas Around The World and Kingdom Treasures. Both these companies did home parties similar to Tupperware. I probably did this for 10 years, and in that time I accumulated a vast amount of decorations. Many of these I no longer have; I knew coming into this house there would be considerably less space, and I wouldn't have a place to put most of it. Choosing what to keep wasn't a simple task; I loved pretty much everything I owned. Some items I couldn't part with, while others I couldn't decide so I kept them "just in case." I'll be posting my Christmas home decor and explaining what I did, why I did it, and if this look will continue in the future.

I was so thrilled to have stairs and a bannister to hang garland from. I decided not to decorate the bannister going up the stairs, just the rail at the top of the stairs. 

This garland is part of a collection from Christmas Around the World. I've had it for many years; House of Lloyd, the company that created Christmas Around the World, closed its doors in January 2002, so this garland is over 20 years old. The collection also included candlesticks, a decorative horn, and a wreath. The pieces are decorated with greenery, red velvet ribbon, and frosted fruits. If I recall correctly, it was part of the Victorian Christmas. This garland goes across the whole railing so the length is perfect. I attached it to the railing with twine so as not to scratch and damage the wood.

This also gives it a bit of a rustic feel, which is more in line with my decorating style.

It isn't a pre-lit garland, but I knew it needed some lights, so I picked up a strand from Hobby Lobby and added them to the garland to liven it up.

In the past I would hang our stockings from the fireplace, but now that we added another family member to the mix, there wouldn't be enough space on the fireplace for 6 stockings to fit comfortably. I also had the issue that, once filled, the stockings and stocking holders tended to fall of the fireplace. So this year I had an idea, and I love the way it looks.

All six stockings, hung with the same twine, fit perfectly and look so festive! There's one thing missing though; last year I decided it was time to retire the wreath that went with this collection. It pained me to get rid of it, but I had to accept the fact that it was looking the worse for wear. The fruits kept falling off, the ribbon had faded, much of the greenery had also fallen off and it didn't look as regal as it had once looked. 

As I put up the garland, I realized this is probably the last year I will use it as well. I fluffed it as best I could, but the ribbon isn't velvety anymore. It has done its job for these 20+ years, but it doesn't even fit my style anymore. I have a more rustic vibe going on in my home, and little by little I hope to transition some of my Christmas decor to reflect that. Not all of it, though. There are some items that will stay with me. Come back to see what else I've done!