It's October Already?!

My, how quickly this year has gone by! Seems like just yesterday I started working, and that was back in February. Eight months and I'm still at it! God has certainly been good to me.

It's almost a month since we said goodbye to Molly, and I'm still not used to it. I wait for her to come out at her dinner time; I expect her to be on the rug in the evening, or in the middle of the floor where she can watch us as we walk by. It's hardest when the doorbell rings and there's silence. We knew someone was at the door even before we heard the doorbell - she was standing up, looking out and ready to bark at whoever it was that was disturbing our peace. Now it's just quiet, and we all look at each other with sadness on our faces. I never imagined it would be this hard.

This past Thursday I asked my son R to throw away the last few cans of dog food that were in the pantry. We'd gotten rid of most of her things (except for her collar, leash, and favorite toy; those are keepsakes that are dear to us), but I couldn't bring myself to throwing away her dog food. It seemed so final; I would get choked up every time I attempted to go near them. R took care of it while I was at work, and when I got home and saw they were gone, I cried again. My sweet puppy. What a large hole you've left in our hearts.

School has been going well. My son has A's in all his classes except biology, where he has a B. He's working hard in that class but his teacher is pretty demanding. Her motto is, "If it was easy you wouldn't be learning." Okay, I get it. His favorite class is Personal Finance. These are lessons he feels he will use his whole life, and I'm glad for that. We went to our credit union a couple of weeks ago, and he opened a checking and savings account. His goal is to have $500 in savings, and another $500 to build himself a computer. I'm so proud of his progress.

Between school and work I've kept so busy that I often think about blogging but can't find the time to do it. There's just so much to keep up with around the house. Right now our lawn mower is giving us problems, the master bathroom toilet is running even after I changed the mechanisms inside, I need to get an oil change on my car, hopefully I can get my hair cut sometime this month since I haven't been to my hairdresser since March...my life is on autopilot and I can't find the brakes! I'm seriously looking forward to the holidays and some days off!

I did manage to decorate for fall and rearrange some stuff so I could get a bit more organized. As part of his allowance I'm paying my son E to vacuum and help with laundry. Best money spent in my entire budget!

I think I'm gonna stop here, since I have to clean up the kitchen. Honestly, I need a break, but there's so much to do and so little time. I do want to say thank you to everyone who has sent me comforting comments and messages about Molly. You've all been so kind and compassionate. I don't have the words to tell you how much those words have meant to me.

Hope y'all have a blessed week. Enjoy each day and be thankful.

Saying Goodbye To Molly

2011 was one of the most, if not the most, difficult year of my life. I saw my world turned upside down in a matter of months. Just looking back on that time is painful. But there was one bright moment, one piece of sunshine that God sent me to help me through the storm. That piece of sunshine was our dog, Molly.

Molly appeared in our front yard in May of 2011.  She was so thin, filthy, and scared. She was such a big dog that she frightened us at first, but my daughter (the eternal animal lover) quickly brought her some water to drink. She also got some leftover meatballs, which the poor dog devoured.  I had a can of Vienna sausages, and gave her those, too.  She was clearly starving, and from the looks of her she'd probably been roaming the streets for some days.  We brought her inside our yard to keep her off the streets and out of danger.  I had to pick up my son E from school, and I promised my daughter I'd buy her some dog food as well.  I clearly remember bawling in my car as I remembered Tobey, our soft coated wheaten terrier that had died three years earlier. I didn't want another dog.  I didn't want to go through the pain of losing another dog.  But I also knew my daughter would be begging to keep her. What's a mother to do?

My son also fell in love with the dog. She was so scared, so timid, and she appeared to be very sweet, but I warned them that the dog probably belonged to someone and it was our duty to find her owners and get her back home. Which wouldn't be easy; she had no collar and no visible signs of ownership.

Within a couple of days we took her to a vet to see if she had a chip that would help us get her home. She didn't. What we did find out from the vet was that she was about a year old, maybe a year and a half at most. She'd also recently given birth. I was amazed at how gentle she was, how she let the vet do all kinds of tests and didn't complain, growl, or bite. The vet asked what I was going to do with the dog. I told her I would continue to seek the dog's owners; if we couldn't find any, we would have to decide if we would keep her or take her to the humane society. The vet immediately objected: she was sure the dog would be euthanized if we took her to the pound. She told us, "If you don't want to keep her, bring her to me. I want her. She's an excellent dog, well behaved and gentle. I will take her if you won't."  It surprised me that she would speak with such passion over a dog she'd just met.

Convincing my children that we should keep the dog would be easy; convincing their dad would be another story.  He hated the dog.  Couldn't stand having her around.  There was no reason for this other than the expense of having to buy dog food and dog stuff. But when my son E got on his knees and begged his father to please let him keep the dog, his father couldn't say no.  So the dog stayed, on the condition that if we found her owners we would give her back.  We would take care of her as long as she needed us to, but she wasn't truly ours yet.

We asked around, we looked for signs at the stores or on street lights, but no one ever came looking for her. My daughter recalled that, about a week earlier, she'd seen some folks selling American bulldog puppies not far from our house. The dog we'd found was an American bulldog mix, and she'd recently had pups.  My daughter believed that this poor creature had been used to breed and then abandoned.  We couldn't understand why: she was the sweetest, gentlest, most loving and affectionate dog we'd ever seen. She was well behaved, completely housebroken, obedient, quiet...I often said she couldn't be a real dog.  She had to be an animatronic.  No dog could be that good.  But she was, and she climbed into our hearts.  We named her Molly because to me, she looked like a Molly. She responded to the name immediately, so we suspect that her name was something similar to Molly. She quickly became a member of the family.

Within a couple of months I found out my husband had been cheating on me, and that the whole reason he wanted me and the kids to move to Central Florida was so that he could bring his mistress to live in my house. The months that followed were nothing less than a nightmare. My two older kids moved to Central Florida for school.  My husband moved out that November.  I was left alone with my almost 12 year old son, and whenever he was in school I was alone in my house, with my thoughts, my pain, my prayers, and my dog.  Molly saw more of my tears than anyone else.  She kept me company day in and day out; while I cleaned the house, she'd follow me around.  I would say to her, "I should have named you Shadow because that's what you do all day, is shadow me!"  She would look at me and smile.  Yes, my dog would smile.  When I sat down, she'd rest her head on my lap. When I'd pet her, she'd put her paw up on my leg and pet me back.  I soon figured out that when God brought her to my front yard, it wasn't so that I could take care of her; it was so she could take care of me. My daughter repeatedly asked if Molly could come to Central Florida to live with her, but I said no each time.  She was my puppy, and we needed each other.

My kids came back home in 2012.  By then it was established: Molly was ours. We loved her, doted on her, and in turn she loved us unconditionally.  Everyone who met her fell in love with her.  You couldn't help but love her.  She was just that sweet.  We did notice a strange little pimple-like growth on her belly at the time, and we had the vet at the humane society look at it.  She said it was probably nothing to worry about, unless it started growing.  "Just keep an eye on it," she said.

About a year later we noticed the little pimple had grown, and we took her to another vet (none of us wanted to go back to the vet that treated Tobey; he was never able to tell us what killed our poor dog).  This vet glanced under her belly and told us it looked like blood cancer and that he would need to test her to see if she could take anesthesia, then operate and have the pimple removed and tested, and it would cost $60 to test her for anesthesia and another $600-$700 to operate, plus have the thing tested...it was so upsetting, I could not put it into words. He never really examined her, he barely looked at her and didn't put a finger on her.  I went home raging mad because I didn't know what to do.  Within a couple of days, the pimple popped and went almost completely away. Hah! I thought. Dumb vet didn't know what he was talking about.  The little pimple would come back, but it would pop and go away, so we didn't worry too much about it.

Then, at the beginning of this year, the pimple became a growth. It got larger and redder, and even when it bled it wouldn't go away.  So off we went to yet another vet.  How I wish the first vet that had seen her was still around!  Unfortunately she'd moved out of the area.  We took her to a vet not far from our home that we'd heard good things about.  The vet was out of town so his assistant saw Molly.  Just from the look on her face I knew it wasn't good.  She said the growth had to be removed, and soon.  She also said that, from her experience, it didn't look good.  We scheduled the surgery for the following week when the vet would be back.  It was the soonest we could get her in.

In the meantime, the growth not only got bigger, it began to decompose. It smelled like death; that's the only way I can describe it. It would bleed from open sores.  It was awful.  She felt awful; we could see in her face that she was extremely uncomfortable, though she never cried.

Three days later, she had the surgery. By then the pimple had become a mass larger than a golf ball.  We held our breath waiting for the results, but deep down inside we knew.  A week after her surgery the vet confirmed our worst fears: the growth was a grade 2 mass cell tumor, and it was malignant.  Our sweet, loving Molly had cancer.  And not just any cancer.  This form of cancer was aggressive.

My kids and I had discussed this possibility.  We knew the vet would suggest cancer treatments, but we've known multiple people who've gone down that road with their pets only to regret it.  Their dogs have suffered through chemo and died of cancer anyway.  We didn't want that for our Molly.  We knew if she had cancer she would die because of it, and we wanted her to die with dignity.  So I informed the vet that we would forgo the treatment, and enjoy her while we had her.  When her time came we'd do what was best for her, and not let her suffer.  The vet respected our wishes.  He told us Molly could live anywhere from 3 months to a year.

Looking at her after her surgery, we thought the worst was over.  She came back to life again; she was bouncy, energetic, and happy again.  She was acting like a puppy!  We were convinced that she would live a long time now that the ugly tumor that had taken three years to grow was gone, and if that's how long it took the tumors to grow, we might even have more years with her! But it wasn't to be.

Within a couple of months she had another growth on her belly.  And another.  A month later there was one on her leg, and another on her face.  It was like her body was exploding with tumors.  Most were small, though, and we continued to hope they'd be like the first one.  Then we noticed that she was having trouble breathing at times.  My daughter was petting her, when she noticed that Molly's chest was swollen, and there was a rash.  It was getting bad.  Really bad.

September 11 we went to Disney World for Night of Joy, just as we had last year.  Part of me was dying to go.  I'd booked a room at the Pop Century months earlier, and we'd never stayed at that resort.  We were excited to go back to Disney, but I hated leaving Molly.  She didn't look well at all.  My oldest son R was staying in town, but he would be working all day Saturday and wouldn't be able to watch her or let her out.  Thankfully, my daughter's best friend came to the rescue, and dog sat Molly for a little while on Saturday.  We got home Sunday evening, tired and worn and happy to see our sweet dog.  It wasn't until the next day that my daughter came to tell me that she had found more tumors, and that the one on her chest was getting really, really big. Molly was having trouble getting around. Her leg, the one under the tumor on her chest, was extremely swollen as well.  She couldn't even sit for very long because she couldn't put much weight on her leg.  There was an intense sadness in her eyes.  She was constantly running a fever.  I told my daughter I didn't know what else to do, and she said, "Mom, it's time."  I felt my heart break in two, but I knew she was right.  I told her I'd call the vet the next day.

When I explained to the receptionist what was going on, she said, "I remember Molly! I'm so sorry!" It was not unexpected.  Molly impacted everyone she met in the most positive way. I asked if we could wait until Friday; I needed time to get used to the idea.  Oh, how I suffered those days!  I kept seeing how unhappy she was, how miserable she felt, and I desperately wanted her to be her old self again. But I knew.  It wasn't going to get better.  And I didn't want her to get worse.

Friday came, and I dreaded each passing minute of the day.  I went to my Ladies bible study group, but I only told one lady about it.  She got all teary-eyed and told me she loved me.  She must have seen the hurt and pain in my eyes.  Finally, I packed Molly and my son E into the car, and we met my daughter A at the vet's office.  They asked if we wanted to stay during the procedure, and we said yes.  I couldn't bring myself to leave her alone when she'd never left my side.

It was quick, and it was painless.  The vet told us that, more than likely, the cancer had spread to her organs.  We were doing the right thing by not letting her suffer any longer.  I knew he was right.  As we watched her take her last breaths, we knew we'd saved her from prolonged pain.  It didn't make it any easier.  With every short breath she took, my heart broke into more and more pieces.  How do you say goodbye to a pet that has been with you through the worst storms of your life?

I cried when our Tobey died.  It was sad, because he did suffer, and we never found out what was wrong with him.  It was rough.  But nowhere near as much as I have suffered now, losing Molly.  Tobey was my daughter's dog; he was her dad's dog.  I loved Tobey, but Tobey was independent.  He was never affectionate, and he was always getting into mischief.  Molly, on the other hand, was loving.  She was a people lover.  We would say she was like Ariel; she wanted to be "where the people are."  She was my dog.  MY dog.  She loved me more than anyone else in the house.  My daughter would get mad because she'd be petting Molly and Molly would be watching me.  She loved everyone, but she loved me most, and now she's gone, and I can't stop missing her.  There's an emptiness in our house.  Our family feels incomplete.

In case you're wondering, we won't be getting another dog.  My son's allergist made it clear: E is allergic to dogs, and Molly was contributing to his eczema and allergy symptoms.  There was no way I was getting rid of Molly; I knew she didn't have long to live, and I couldn't bring myself to give her to anyone else.  But I will not bring another dog into the house.  It's not fair to my son.  Besides, I know I will never, ever, find another dog like Molly.  She was truly the best dog in the world.  Even as the tears become less and less, I will remember her and miss her for the rest of my life.  

What's Been Going On

It's amazing what can happen in just a couple of weeks.  Life can take some crazy turns.  Thankfully ours have been pretty positive!

One of the teachers at the tutoring center recently got a job at a Christian school teaching high school math.  I was sad to hear she was leaving but happy for her new job, especially since she's getting married in October.  Little did I know how her new job would impact my family!

My daughter A has been under her father's health insurance ever since I stopped working.  She turns 26 the end of this year, which means she will no longer be covered under his insurance.  Her father has been hounding her ever since her birthday back in December, telling her she needs to get health insurance before her birthday.  She has looking, but health insurance is expensive, especially for a young single woman.  For those who think that government insurance is the answer, think again.  Even Obamacare is costly.  Since she was working two part-time jobs and neither one offered health benefits, she knew she would have to come up with a way to get affordable healthcare, and her options weren't very promising.

Her dad called her about a month ago asking once again if she had found insurance yet.  When she told him she hadn't, he told her not to worry about it, he had found a way to keep her on his insurance and she'd only have to pay him $100 a month.  Now, if I know anything about this man, it's that he can't resist a scam.  I didn't know what he was up to, but I did know one thing for sure: whatever it was, it was illegal.  He doesn't care; as far as he's concerned, it's not illegal unless you get caught.  Well, that was NOT what I wanted for my daughter.  Of course, with J, it's his way and that's that.  But he doesn't know the power of my God!  My daughter and I began to pray that God would provide her with insurance that would be more affordable than what J was insisting on offering.  Seems impossible?  Ha, nothing is impossible for our God!

A week after we started praying, I got home from grocery shopping to find my daughter extremely excited.  It turned out that the girl who was leaving had contacted her.  The school where she was going to start working needed an English teacher, someone with a degree in English, and they needed someone right away.  She immediately thought of A and asked if she was interested.  The school would take care of getting her certification.  The part that had her most excited?  The job would pay her double what both her part-time jobs paid, and she would receive 100% paid health benefits!!  She could hardly contain her excitement!  She was happy and nervous at the same time, and asked me what she should do.  I said hey, go for it!  God is sending you this opportunity, you'd best take it!  She interviewed that same day, and they offered her the job on the spot.  Turns out they'd been needing someone since the school year had finished, and no one - absolutely no one - had applied for the position.  She was the first person to apply, and school was going to start in one week.  The thought of it made her even more nervous, and she said she needed to pray about it.  She spoke to her pastor, her friends, and of course mom.  We looked into the school and the church.  This church has been instrumental in planting many of the churches in South Florida, and their ministry is extensive.  All her friends (many of them teachers themselves) told her they'd be there with help and advise.  We all agreed, this wasn't a coincidence, it was a God-incident.  So she accepted, got her training and certification, and this week started teaching 9th and 11th grade English (including an AP class) along with middle school journalism.  She is the happiest she's been in ages!  Everything has fallen into place so perfectly, that we know it has to be the hand of our ever faithful God!  We are so thankful for this new step in her life!

Of course my bosses weren't as happy as she was.  They were left without two teachers for the fall session which starts next Monday.  But once again, God has provided.  We have three new teachers coming in that got trained this week.  It was rough for my daughter, because she doesn't like to disappoint, but the opportunity was too great to pass up.  It's been hectic with her church job too, but she's such a trouper.  She's getting the work done, and getting all her school assignments done as well (she's working towards getting certified as a pastoral counselor).  God is blessing her hard work, and I can't wait to see what else He has in store for my little girl!

As for me, I've been on an organization kick - or more like a frenzy ;-).  It started in the master bedroom, moved into the kitchen where I've been organizing the pantry and cupboards, and now it has continued into the bathrooms.  I've been throwing out anything that is expired (you'd be surprised what you find hiding in a medicine cabinet) or that doesn't get used, and putting things away properly.  I've shopped at Walmart, Target, Dollar Tree and Amazon for organization tools and containers.  I've also done some deep cleaning before school starts up again, which is on the 24th.  I'm off from work this week (yay!) so I've been able to get loads of stuff done.  I'm very much a type A personality, and having everything streamlined and organized makes me feel relaxed.  I'm loving it!

I took my youngest son E for allergy testing.  Not only were his allergies getting out of control, his eczema was spreading.  Both his arms were covered, his eyes were dry and irritated, and below his chin it was starting up.  It seemed the medicines the dermatologist had ordered weren't enough, so I had to take the next step.  He had to get off his maintenance medicines for 5 days so the tests could be accurate.  It was the most miserable 5 days of his life!  He literally needed a trash can next to him to drop all the tissues he was using because he was sneezing so much.  When we finally got to the doctor's office for the tests, they got delayed because E was having a mild asthma attack.  See, the day before we'd gone to see Hillsong United in concert, and it was held outdoors in a park.  The outdoors are my son's enemies, unfortunately.  He was coughing but he wasn't wheezing, at least not heavily, so I hadn't detected it, but the doctor noticed right away.  Once he was breathing normally, the doctor proceeded with the tests.  Thankfully my son has no food allergies.  He does, however, have a ton of other allergies, all environmental.  Trees, grass, mold, plants...let's just say, he's allergic to Florida.  The doctor put him on prednisone and gave him an inhaler, along with eye drops, nose drops, and instructions for taking care of the eczema.  He also suggested I get an air purifier, which I ordered the very next day.  I'm happy to report that his eczema is almost completely gone thanks to the creams he's using (Vanicream is the best, I highly recommend it), and I haven't heard him sneeze in days.  Oh, thank You Jesus!

We found out he's also allergic to pet dander, particularly dogs and cats.  This has created a dilemma for us, because we can't get rid of Molly.  Not only because we love her, but because she has cancer, and she's dying.  The second tumor on her belly has started to grow, and we don't think she has very much longer to live.  We know no one will take her in her condition, and if we take her to the humane society they'll put her down.  We've decided to keep her until the inevitable, which J is against (he's wanted us to get rid of Molly since day one), but honestly I don't believe we will have her for much longer.  It breaks our hearts to even think about it.

Sorry to end on a sad note (I didn't realize it till I looked back) but life is like that; it has its ups and downs.  We thank God for the good, and we thank Him for the not-so-good.  In all things we praise our God and Father and trust in His decisions.  Hope you do too.

Week...No, Wait, Month In Review

I've stayed away from my blog all this month, not by choice but by life.  It seems the minute I sit down something needs to get done, someone needs to talk, I remember something I was supposed to do...it's a never-ending cycle.

Let's get a quick recap of what's happened in May.  For one thing, my son E is almost finished with school.  He has taken 3 of his 6 finals and passed each one.  He ended up with an A in algebra (92%), an A in leadership (98%), and an A in music history (96%).  All his work has been turned in, and now he has to take his Hope, English, and Science finals so he can be done.  We are both looking forward to being done, though I suppose he's looking forward to it more.

The church where my daughter works has finally moved into their new building, which has been under construction for the past year.  There were issues these past couple of months, including a break-in to the construction site in which materials and tools were stolen.  Inspections were probably the biggest delay; they never happen when they're supposed to.  Still, God came through as He always does, and this Sunday is the grand opening celebration.  There was a soft opening last Sunday, and I was excited to go because my daughter was singing!  She has sung before, but only for children's and youth ministries.  This time she was on main stage, and yes, mama was proud!  She is also blessed to be singing tomorrow for the grand opening, which mama will not miss!

Molly is doing so much better.  It's hard to believe she is suffering from cancer; honestly, she doesn't appear to be suffering at all.  She still has a bit of a limp, though not as pronounced as it was before the surgery.  She has recovered from the surgery remarkably well.  Our Molly is acting like a puppy once again.  We hope it will last.

As for my oldest son, I don't see him much.  He's been working quite a few hours, covering for people who are out.  When he's home he's on his computer or playing a video game.  Otherwise, he's out with his friends.

I enjoyed my very simple, very quiet Mother's day, though my oldest son was gone the whole day (he forgot what day it was.  Mama was not happy).  My daughter cooked for me - shrimp and steak sandwiches, absolutely delicious!  My gift from my kids was, what else, makeup!  I got some eye makeup and a really nice brush from Bare Minerals.  My cousin came over with her 3 kids and they brought me flowers.  She isn't technically my cousin; she's J's cousin, but I've known her since she was a toddler, and I babysat her for years.  When she was older she babysat my kids, so they're like siblings more than cousins.  It was sweet of them to bring me flowers and spend some time with me.

For Mother's day I wore a beautiful dress that I got from New York and Company.  The dress is black lace, but unlike most lace dresses that have a white underlay, this one has a two-toned pink underlay.  It has stripes in light and bright pink, and the way it comes through the lace makes the dress so unique, I've gotten multiple compliments!  I felt really pretty in the dress too, which is what every woman wants.

I got a few items from that trip to NY&Co, since I had City Cash and a coupon.  I got several tops and a cardigan - I wear cardigans a lot at work.  They look professional without being heavy, which is good because it has been H-O-T here in South Florida!  Thankfully it hasn't been very humid, though we have had some rainy days, but the temps are already in the upper 80's and low 90's.  I can't imagine what our summer will be like if our spring is so hot.

I also took advantage of a Bare Minerals Beauty Rush sale and got some skincare at a super discounted price.  Cleanser, eye cream, and two anti-aging creams for $39.  Just the wrinkle repair cream is normally $50, so I got a really nice deal!  I also got some mini lip sticks and lip glosses.  All in all a nice stash of makeup.  I had to get myself another organizer because it was getting a bit out of hand - there was makeup piling up and makeup bags filling up, and I can't stand a mess.  It all looks much neater now, and my makeup is more accessible.

That's gonna be it for now.  There's plenty more I can add but laundry needs to get folded, my bed needs to get made, and my daughter wants to go to the mall later on.  Not to mention that J is coming to pick up E in a little while and I'm hoping to get some studying done before that.  Yes, plenty to do, but thankful God gives me the energy to do it!  Have a blessed weekend.

Week's Review - Is It Over Yet?

My week has been like the weather - hectic and all over the place.  We've had hot days, humid days, rainy days, stormy days...it was more like summer than spring.  Then this morning, the sky was clear and blue, and there was a sweet breeze blowing.  Everyone was shocked at the change!  Life is kinda like the weather; it can change from one day to the next.

My days are busy, busy, busy.  School in the mornings, work in the afternoons, church on Wednesdays.  Meals, laundry, housecleaning, dog tending.  It's a never ending cycle, but I'm getting the hang of it.  I think.

This week E took his unit exam for algebra.  Quadratics have been a headache for him and for me as well, because I don't remember doing them.  His exam was two parts; part one was multiple choice, and part two was 5 questions broken down into 3-4 parts, which meant it was really 16 questions.  He finished part one and got a 64%.  That really upset me, because he did study for the test, but the questions were tricky.  There were times when he would say, "it's either A or C," and invariably he'd pick the wrong one.  I was stressed about the second part of the exam more than he was, because a) the second part is always harder, and b) this material will be on his semester exam and he doesn't seem comfortable with it.  He did part 2 Tuesday night, and it took him 3 hours to complete it.  I decided he needed more help than what I was giving him, so I got him a tutoring session at work.  The tutor he got is a great teacher; he's studying finance at the local university, and is a brilliant young man.  I'm so thankful that E got the session.  He feels more confident now.  And today, when the scores were posted and I saw my son got a 94% on part two of his test, it made me feel so much better!  I really shouldn't have stressed so much.  If I'd given it to God from the start I would have saved myself a lot of internal frustration.  I hope I've learned this lesson.

Molly has continued to improve.  As a matter of fact, she's been behaving like a puppy again, so we were very optimistic.  Then I got the dreaded call from the vet this morning.  Our suspicions were confirmed: it is cancer.  The tumor that was removed was a stage 2 mass cell tumor, and this type of tumor will continue to spread.  The vet told me he would refer me to an oncologist, and I thanked him but explained that we'd already discussed it and decided we would not put our beloved dog through chemotherapy.  I just feel it's cruel to make an animal suffer through that horrible treatment, and honestly, each time I've heard of pets that have been put through chemo, it's always been the same outcome.  They end up dying of cancer anyway.  I simply cannot do that to Molly.  The doctor said she might do fine for another two years, or she might last six months.  Either way, we will do whatever it takes to keep her comfortable and happy, and when the time comes, we will say goodbye and be thankful to God for the time He allowed us to have her.  She has been a joy for us; I don't regret taking her in and caring for her.  She has been the best dog I've ever met, the most loving, affectionate, sweet dog in the world.  There is a dreary cloud over us today, but the silver lining around it is the reminder of all good times we've had.  She's been a rare treasure, and we are oh so thankful for her.

Our women's bible study group this morning was a real thought provoking study.  We were challenged to study the bible, not to gain more knowledge, but to know God better.  A challenge to read scripture, not for what I can get out of it or what it can do for me, but to see God in its pages and understand my Father in a more intimate way.  I hadn't thought about it, but how many times don't I pick up the bible to look for guidance for me, to seek answers for me, to feed me spiritually.  Me, me, me.  What I should be asking God is, "What do You want me to learn about You today?"  Because in knowing Him better, I will desire more of Him.  And as I desire more of Him, I will want to be more like Him.  And when I am more like Him, I will have all the answers to those questions that I usually go to scripture for.  It was such an eye-opener.

That has been my roller coaster week.  Ups and downs, spinning this way and that.  The ups have been exhilarating, the downs have made my stomach ill.  There is so much change in our lives, but I've learned that I'm tallest when I'm on my knees.  God has gotten me through rougher times than this; He will see me through again.  Have a good night, y'all.  God bless.

Recapping the Past Week

It's been a long and busy past week...but thankfully, a less stressed one.  Not completely stress-free, but let's be honest, does such a day exist when there is absolutely, positively, no stress?  Only after we die.

Molly is healing nicely.  She's in her normal mood again, cheerful, playful, happy.  Since she isn't a complainer, it's hard to determine when she's in pain or distress; now that we see her so full of pep we realize she was not comfortable with the tumor.  At all.  There was never any whimpering or crying, just lack of energy and no desire to play, though her appetite was never affected.  She is so totally different from Tobey, our first dog, who let us know when he was not feeling well.  I guess the male of the species aren't so different, one creature from another.

My son E, on the other hand (or should I say on the left hand?), had me running from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what in the world was that nasty rash on his hand.  The rash was first detected by his doctor around his left eye.  She said it looked like eczema and gave him medicine for it which took care of the problem.  Then a similar rash took over his left hand.  It looked awful; first it started as a slight rash, then as it got more intense I had him put the medicine from his eye on his hand.  It didn't do much of anything.  Since E has had eczema before, I was able to recognize similarities in this rash, though he'd never gotten it on his hand.  It was always on his elbows or behind his knees.  Still, I thought that's what it looked like, so I went to the pharmacy and got him some Neosporin for eczema.  The itching stopped, but the rash got worse - I mean really bad.  I took him to the doctor (his doctor wasn't in so an associate saw him), who determined it must be a fungus, since the eczema medicine wasn't working.  The doctor honestly admitted he didn't know for sure what it was.  He gave E another cream, and said if it didn't get better we should see a dermatologist.  The cream seemed to work for the first couple of days, but soon after it started making matters worse.  E complained every time he put the on medicine because it burned.  That was not good.

His father showed up that Saturday after not having seen or spoken to his son in two weeks.  All of a sudden he decided he needed to be a dad and take care of the situation because I hadn't done enough.  He wasn't around when the rash started, nor did he know what I'd done, but he started putting on a show, telling me I should have taken him to see a dermatologist from the start, and taking pictures of E's hand to "figure out" what it was.  I was angry and annoyed for hours.  How can one human being disrupt a household the way he does?!  He doesn't fool anyone; we all see through his act, including E.

As I saw the rash not improving, I went ahead and made the appointment with the dermatologist for the following Friday (this past Friday).  Tuesday I got a call from J asking how E was doing, and that he'd been trying to get in touch with the dermatologist to make an appointment for him but was unable to get through.  He claimed he was extremely concerned because the rash looked "dangerous". I told him I'd already made an appointment, and had gotten through to the dermatologist just fine.  Once again, I was convinced he was just putting on a show.  E spoke to his dad on Wednesday because it was his dad's birthday, and once again his father asked for a picture of his hand to see how it was doing.  Friday couldn't come fast enough, as far as I was concerned.  I wanted to get this thing over with once and for all.

Finally the dermatologist was able to see him, and guess what?  It's eczema.  No fungus, no "dangerous condition", just eczema.  The medicines I had weren't strong enough to take care of the problem, so the doctor prescribed a stronger hydrocortisone cream and told us that, just as in the past, this would eventually go away on its own.  In the meantime we would treat it, and there was nothing to worry about.  After the doctor, I took E home and went to do some grocery shopping.  I was at Walmart when J called asking what it was E had because E had told him but he didn't understand.  When I told him it was eczema, he didn't know how to respond.  His first comment was, "But that's just dry skin."  Which of course it isn't, but I just said uh-huh.  Then he asked about the blisters on E's hand.  What blisters?  E didn't have any blisters at any time.  His skin was dry and cracked, but it never blistered.  He claimed there were blisters in the pictures E sent him.  I know there were no blisters, and he was being a drama queen as usual.  Here's the interesting part: we haven't heard from him since.  He didn't show up on Saturday to see his son or take him out, he didn't even call to ask if his hand was better.  Once he realized the show was over, he disappeared.  And then he wonders why his kids don't ever reach out to him.  

The rest of the week went by fine.  E finished his schoolwork a day early, which was great since he had to be at the doctor's on Friday.  He's got straight A's so far, and we are praying that continues, since finals are going to be coming up in the next few weeks.  His hand, by the way, has improved dramatically.  I expect the skin to be back to normal before weeks end.  Thank You Jesus!  Weather-wise, it has been scorching.  Yesterday we were in the 90's.  Thankfully the humidity hasn't been as high as in the summer, but still, it felt like we were in the 100's.  I don't even want to think about what the summer will be like.  Praise God for air conditioning!!!

Saturday I stayed home all day getting the house cleaned up.  We were all suffering the effects of allergy season this week, and I was finally feeling better, so I didn't want to go out and provoke my sinuses to shut down.  Yesterday we went to church, then my daughter and I went to the outlet mall for a little shopping.  There's a Bare Minerals outlet there, and since I had a $20 off coupon I decided to get some concealer.  The small sample I got back in November is finally running out.  I also picked up a neutral lip liner and a gorgeous blue eyeliner.  Then we went to the CCO (Cosmetic Company Outlet) and I picked up a Mac Face And Body foundation for $19.  It usually goes for almost $30 so I was thrilled to get it so cheap.  My daughter got some too.  Can't wait to try it out!  She had gotten a Forever 21 gift certificate back in December for her birthday, so she decided to bring it along and see if she could find something she liked.  She got a really cute handbag that was on sale, so of course she was excited - I thought she'd start dancing in the store!  We also stopped at Teavana for some herbal teas.  She got a ginger coconut tea that is delicious!  We had some last night, and while it doesn't say it's relaxing, I can tell you I slept like a baby.  I could get used to that stuff!

That's my recap for the week.  I'm hoping and praying we have a stress-free week, but if not, it's okay.  God's got my back.  Blessings to everyone!

Things Are Starting To Look Up

Molly had her surgery this morning.  I can't put into words how stressed I was thinking about how she would feel in that pet hospital without us around, but I knew it was necessary, and I left her in God's hands.

We seem to have rushed past springtime in South Florida.  It is as hot as summer, though not as humid.  As a matter of fact, it's been really dry.  So much so, that there have been brush fires popping up all over the place.  Finally, we got some rain yesterday and today.  It was much needed and much appreciated, since it helped put out a bunch of fires, but now the air is heavy with smoke and everything is covered in ashes (including my car, which just got washed two weeks ago).  My nose is all stuffed up, and my daughter is complaining of a sinus headache, which I'm attributing to having to go out in this smoke filled environment.  We're supposed to get rain all week; hopefully it'll clear the air.  So long as we don't get another emergency tornado alert...

Yeah, we got one of those this afternoon, before I had to leave for work.  There was a fairly strong thunderstorm prior to it, and all I could think of was Molly and how terrified she is of thunder.  I hoped she was sleeping through it and didn't have to hear all the noise.

I finally was able to pick her up at 4:30.  My boss was nice about me going; she recently put her own dog down after spending tons of money to treat her for cancer, so she was extremely sympathetic.  I was surprised to find Molly much more alert than I'd expected.  As soon as she saw me she came up to me and lay her head on my lap.  I think that, despite the pain from the surgery, she feels better without that nasty tumor hanging from her belly.  I had a heck of a time getting her in and out of the car, but once she was home she relaxed, has been drinking water and even ate her food.  We let her out to do her business but bring her in quickly; she doesn't need to be smelling all that smoke.  It looks like she's doing well, and we are so thankful for that.  There's one problem though; she has more small tumors.  The vet asked if I wanted them taken off as well, but it would cost an additional $266.  I'm already spending close to $900.  There was no way I could spend anything else.  We are hoping these won't develop like the other one did, but until we get the biopsy results I don't want to make any decisions.  The vet says we should have an answer by Monday, maybe even sooner.  We'll just have to wait and see.

At least she's looking happier now.  That's what we wanted, to see her happy and smiling.  Yes, our dog smiles.  It's the sweetest thing.  Goodnight everyone.  God bless.

Week in Review - It's Been A Difficult Week

I've wanted to post a few times this week, but time kept getting away from me.  How I would love a day when I can do absolutely nothing.  Just sit around watching TV, which I haven't done in awhile.  Some days I miss that.

Molly is scheduled for her surgery tomorrow.  She has been getting steadily worse this week, though you wouldn't know it from her demeanor.  She is still as loving and affectionate as ever, even if she doesn't have the same amount of energy or spunk.

The surgery can't come soon enough.  The tumor on her belly appears infected, and I mean badly infected.  It oozes, and has turned dark, almost green, and it smells awful.  I discussed with my daughter today that I'm concerned it might become gangrenous, which would be devastating.  Even if she comes out of the surgery well, which of course is our hope, there is no guarantee we will have her with us for very long.  We are both convinced this is a cancerous tumor, and more than likely it has spread, though we don't know to what extent.  We have to wait for the surgery, then make a decision as to her future.  It's not something any of us is looking forward to.

My son E had a very busy school week.  He had an English paper and presentation to finish and send in.  He started quadratic formulas in algebra which were complicated to learn.  There was a science quiz and a review portfolio which he just finished today.  Music history is usually just reading, but this week he had a review and critical thinking paper, class discussion, and lab to complete.  Usually he doesn't have to work on the weekends, but this time he worked both yesterday and today, with a Hope assignment still not completed - it should be done by tomorrow.  There's about 8 weeks of school left so of course it gets hectic as we approach the final stretch.

Work was also really busy this week.  Many of the students we tutor took their ACT exams this weekend, so they're done with tutoring.  New students that have been on a waiting list are now starting this week, which meant lots of paperwork had to be completed.  As busy as we were, I had to help with tutoring a few kids.  Two of our teachers were sick - one had kidney surgery and the other had a kidney infection, so both were in the hospital at the same time.  MM arranged their students as best she could, but there simply weren't enough teachers to go around, so I was assigned homework help students.  Since they were all elementary school age it wasn't a problem, but I felt like I would never get my work done.  Thankfully everything fell into place and I think we're back on track, but I have to say it was pretty stressful.

Then Friday, my "day off", started off at 6:00am.  I went to bible study where we finished studying the book Daniel by Beth Moore.  It was such a great study that I'm actually sorry it's over!  Afterwards I came home to do schoolwork with my son, make lunch, then take him to the doctor.  He has a rash on his left hand, a very itchy rash.  When it first appeared I thought it was ant bites.  As more bumps appeared in clusters, I thought it was similar to what he'd had on his eye, so I had him put on the cream they'd given him for his hand.  It did nothing.  It kind of looked like eczema, which he's had before, so I got him eczema cream.  It got worse.  The skin around his thumb was cracking, and it was very painful.  So I took him to his regular doctor, who believes this is a fungus based on the fact that it's only on his hand and the hydrocortisone made it worse.  He prescribed a cream, and antibiotics because of the cracked skin.  I'm keeping an eye on it; it seems better, but if I don't see enough improvement by Tuesday I'm gonna have to take him to see a dermatologist.

As exhausting as my week had been, I was looking forward to cleaning my home on Saturday and then relaxing.  That wasn't meant to be.  My kid's father showed up after two weeks of not seeing or calling any of his children.  He put on a show of concern for E's hand, and suggested yet again that we get rid of Molly because he blames her for E's allergies and anything else that happens to him.  He actually asked if any of us could catch what Molly has.  Since when is cancer contagious?  He finally left without E, because he didn't think E should go out with his hand looking the way it did.  Meanwhile, once again, I was left feeling angry and resentful and bitter, which I absolutely hate feeling, but he brings out the worst in me.  It is so frustrating that he acts like he's so concerned about his kids, then he disappears for a week or two.  It took several hours before I was able to calm down - that, and a trip to Target ;-).  I looked through the tops for clearance items, and found 3 tank tops and a v-neck, each under $10.  I don't usually recommend retail therapy, but I needed to get out of my house and focus on something else.

This week our Sunday school class was challenged to learn Psalm 23 by hard.  And let me tell you, it was hard!  I know bits and pieces of it, but I've never learned it straight through.  For some crazy reason, I thought I'd learn it in the King James Version.  It sounds so beautiful with all the thee's and thou's, but honestly, what was I thinking?!  I actually made it harder on myself.  I was relieved to find out everyone else had a hard time learning it as well ;-).  We are gonna continue working on it this week.  I printed it and put it up on my fridge to help me remember it.

That's my recap for the week.  It has been rough, and I don't think the coming week will be much easier, especially with Molly recovering from surgery.  If you think of her during the day, please say a prayer for our puppy.  We love her dearly, and just want to see her get better.  Thanks y'all.  Goodnight, and God bless.

The Week In Review

I don't know what makes people think that being a stay at home mom is leisurely.  Even with 2 adult children and a 15 year old, my days are busy.  Of course, homeschooling makes a difference, but still...

Since I didn't have to work this week (thank you Spring Break!) we were able to keep up with all the school work E had.  It was a good thing too; E had his unit test for algebra, and we needed to do a lot of reviewing.  E does great when he does his lesson quizzes, typically getting 90% and above.  But when it comes time for his unit test, he gets everything jumbled up in his head and he forgets how to do the problems, getting formulas all mixed up.  This time, we reviewed everything from the unit step by step, then he did part 2 of the test first, which is the part that his teacher emails to him and he emails back.  That took longer; there were five questions, but each question had three parts to it, and he had to show all his work.  It was time consuming, but he got a 98%.  Then it came time to do part one which was multiple choice.  He wasn't looking forward to it, but once he sat down he found it only took him 20 minutes and he got 100%.  It made him feel a whole lot better once that was over.

The rest of the week went pretty smoothly.  Yesterday, however, was a stressful and distressing day.

Our dog Molly has been with us for almost four years now.  When we found her in our front yard, she was just over a year old, skinny, filthy, and scared.  We took her in, and she has been the most loving dog we've ever seen.  She is gentle, well behaved, and a great watch dog - she makes plenty of noise whenever someone comes to the door, enough to scare them away!  It's been a joy adding her to our family.

A couple of years ago we noticed a growth on her belly.  It was almost time to get her tags, so we waited to see the vet at the humane society.  She looked at it, and told us it shouldn't be a problem unless it started growing, in which case we should see a vet about it.  After a year we did notice it was getting bigger, so we took her to a local vet (the vet who had seen her before had moved out of the area).  This vet didn't even examine her; he glanced at her belly, said it was probably blood cancer, then proceeded to give us an estimate of $500 - $700 just to remove it, then it would have to be sent to a lab to find out if it really was cancer.  I was shocked and upset at this vet who didn't even take a good look at her or even touch her, so we left.  A short time later the growth popped, sort of like a pimple, and it shrunk.  We figured it was going away, and left it alone.  Over the past year it would grow and pop, grow and pop, and while we kept an eye on it, we didn't think too much of it.

The last few months, though, it has grown very large.  It's now bigger than a golf ball, and it bleeds occasionally.  Molly has been acting perfectly normal as far as her mood and appetite, but we did notice she's also limping from her right hind leg.  The growth and her limp were becoming more and more concerning, so Saturday my daughter and I took her to another vet, one who has been clipping her nails for the last year.  This vet asked lots of questions; she did a better job of examining her, though the growth is large enough that you don't have to get too close to see it.  Her diagnosis was disheartening: the growth doesn't look good.  Yes, it could be benign, but from the description she feels it most likely is cancer.  We have scheduled her surgery for a week from tomorrow, and once the growth is removed it will be biopsied.  She also told us that, while there is a chance Molly is limping simply because she's overweight (a whopping 82 lbs.), there is the possibility that the cancer has spread into her bones.  If that's the case, there is very little that can be done other than chemotherapy, and I've already made it clear to my kids (and they agree with me) that I would never put a dog through chemo.  This kind of treatment is painful, weakening, and dogs don't understand why it's happening.  I wouldn't want my sweet Molly to think she's being punished, which is what chemo must seem like to a dog.  Our prayer is that the tumor is benign, but if it isn't, we will do everything possible to keep Molly comfortable until she can no longer live, or until her time comes on its own.  It's not a pleasant thought at all, and I remember how much we suffered when our dog Tobey became ill and had to be put down, but the thought of treating her for cancer is, in my opinion, inhumane.  Those that wish to do it to their pets have the right to do so, but I just can't.  And it hurts my heart to know that either way she might suffer.  It has brought the mood in our home down low, but we trust that God will do what is right.  He brought her to us, and He will decide when she needs to leave us.

That's pretty much it.  I go back to work tomorrow, and school continues, as does life.  There are always stumbling blocks in the road; hiccups in life that we would prefer to avoid but can't.  The trials of life help make us stronger and remind us Who we need to depend on.  If you think of it, please pray for our Molly to not have cancer.  That would be the best news our vet could give us.  God bless, and good night.

My "Day Off"

I wanted to post about my crazy "day off" yesterday, but by the end of the day I was beyond exhausted.  I couldn't even think straight anymore.  So here I am, giving a recap of Friday on Saturday, though I can't say I'm fully recovered.

Let me just mention, for starters, that I love to decorate.  I love fixing up my house, whether for holidays and special occasions or just everyday.  I love changing things up.  I love moving furniture around and into different rooms to get a new look.  Even when I was young and living with my parents, I would change things up and move them around.  I love to paint, I love to clean and polish and dust and shop for beautiful things...you get the picture.

When my two older kids came home from living in Central Florida, they brought a bunch of furniture with them, including a sofa and love seat we'd bought them at a furniture outlet store.  At first I put them in the garage, since my son's desire was to look for a place and take the furniture with him.  Things didn't work out for him financially, and it made no sense to me to have brand new furniture in the garage while I was sitting on faded furniture that was 13 years old.  So I sold the old sofa and love seat and put the new items in the family room.  It worked quite nicely.

Last year I decided to get an electric fireplace/media center for the living room, and I got rid of the enormous wall unit that was in the family room.

The wall unit worked while we had the oversized television set, but once that broke (and there was no way to get it repaired) I was left with a gaping hole in the wall unit.  I tried fitting other things in there but it didn't work.  Out it went, and a television table the kids brought back with them took its place.

I'd originally put it in the living room, but I moved it to the family room and put the fireplace/media console in there instead.  I flanked it with bookshelves, a look I documented here.  And that worked as well.  I was super happy with the way the house looked.

Unfortunately, the furniture we'd bought for the kids was not the greatest quality.  It was 3 1/2 years old but looked like we'd been sitting on it for 20 years.  The cushions were attached to the furniture, and they were sagging horribly.  The frame under the cushions also appeared to be sagging.  The fabric itself looked the worse for wear.  It's microfiber, which usually stands up to all kinds of abuse, but this fabric was stained and the stain wasn't coming off.  I tried covering the sofa with a fluffy blanket so the sagging wouldn't show too much, but it wasn't fooling anyone.  I had moved this furniture into the living room at Christmastime because the tree wouldn't fit in there with the recliners and sofa, and after Christmas everyone wanted the ugly furniture to stay in the living room because "they made the room look bigger."  I thought it made the room look dingy.  I wanted so badly to get rid of it, but I didn't want the huge expense.  I thought about going out looking at garage sales or second hand furniture, though there's always a chance I'll end up with something as bad or worse than what I already had.  

After Christmas Costco always puts their home furnishings out.  I was walking by the seasonal aisle on my way to the meat section, when I saw a gorgeous, huge sectional.  It was a lovely beige fabric, light but durable, with the nailhead design that I love so much.  It was $999, a great price for this large piece of furniture but more than I wanted to spend.  I sat on it for a minute and loved how comfortable it felt.  Ah, if I could only find something similar but at a lower price!  A couple of  months later I saw that the price had been reduced - a common occurrence when Costco is ready to bring in the next seasonal item, in this case patio furnishings.  Now the price was $699 - a whole $300 off!  I was tempted, but at the same time, how would I get this home?  I don't have a truck or SUV anymore.  Besides, I was wanting to get some cabinets to organize the garage, and my car needs new tires.  Spending $700 on a sectional wasn't an option right now.

Because I have executive membership at Costco, I get a yearly rebate from them.  I wasn't expecting much; I buy from Costco regularly but I hadn't bought anything major, so there was no reason for me to get much money back.  I was totally surprised when the rebate check came in: $116.  The wheels in my head started turning really fast.  With this rebate check I'd be able to get the sectional for under $600.  No way was I going to find a deal like that anywhere else anytime.  I'd have to act, and fast.  Time (and inventory) was running out.

When I told my daughter what I wanted to do, she suggested renting a truck from Home Depot.  Home Depot rents vans and large pick-up trucks for $19.95 for the first 75 minutes, then $5 each additional 15 minutes after that.  The idea was, rent the truck, get the furniture from Costco (which is a few blocks away), get it to the house, and get the truck back in an hour.  That sounded doable!  Then I remembered the garage storage cabinets.  What if I could get those from Home Depot, and the furniture from Costco at the same time?!  I would save on delivery costs!  I checked out the Home Depot webpage, but there was nothing at all like what I wanted.  Everything was either plastic or resin, and I wanted something stronger.  I looked on the Lowe's website next.  Bingo!  A large steel cabinet for $249, and a smaller cabinet for $157.  Lowe's is less than a mile away from Home Depot; I could still get everything done and pay less than what it would cost to have the cabinets delivered, which was $79.  The picture looked brighter and better each moment.  I prayed and asked God to work this out for me as He saw fit, then I got to work.

Thursday morning I called Home Depot to reserve the truck.  Turns out they don't do reservations - it's on a first come, first served basis.  I told the woman at Home Depot that I'd need the truck Friday morning, around 10 am.  See, with homeschooling and work, Fridays and Saturdays are the only days I can run all my errands, and I needed to do this on Friday because that's also my son R's day off and I was going to need his help.  She told me to call a half hour before and she'd hold the truck for me, but no more than 30 minutes.  At that point I decided, on faith, to go ahead and order the garage storage cabinets from Lowe's so they would be ready for me to pick up the next day.  I was really taking a chance, and I considered skipping my bible study group to get there early, but that didn't feel right at all.  How could I put God in second place to garage storage and furniture?  No, I was going to my bible study class, and trust that God would provide.

I was up early Friday morning.  I'm so glad I have a quick and easy makeup routine for days like these, because I didn't have the time to spend in front of the mirror.  I went to bible study and boy am I glad I did - Daniel chapter 9 is totally awe inspiring!  I left just as the video ended, ran home and called Home Depot.  To my chagrin, the truck had just been rented out, and the woman didn't know when it would be back.  She kindly took my number and said she'd call as soon as it was returned.  In the meantime I was left to wonder, now what?  My daughter suggested I check with another Home Depot, but did I really want to go to the next city north or south of us to get this truck?  I thought about heading to Costco so I could be close by when the truck showed up; then a thought occurred to me: what if they didn't have the furniture anymore?!  I grabbed the phone and called.  Good thing I did, too - they were sold out.  NO!!!!!  I asked if she could check stock in other stores.  She found 5 of them at a store two cities north of us, about a 20 minute drive.  I called that Costco to verify and they confirmed that they still had it in stock.  If I was going to do this, I'd have to act fast, but not before lifting my petition up to the Lord.  I called the Home Depot in the city north of us.  Yes, they had a truck and it was available to rent.  The clock was ticking.

I grabbed my son and we headed north to Home Depot.  Renting the truck was easy-peasy.  All I needed was my driver's license, insurance card and a credit card.  I left there and headed north on the expressway.  I took a bit longer at Costco than I thought because the boxes were so large and bulky; so large that I wondered if we'd be able to get them all in the truck.  I didn't want to have to make two trips!  I was praying that it wouldn't be necessary, and praise God it wasn't.  The young man at Costco was able to get everything on and even tied the boxes onto the truck for us - now that's great service!  R and I went straight home, unloaded the boxes into the living room, and headed out to Lowe's.  My daughter A is still nursing her leg per her doctor's orders, so she wasn't able to do any physical work, so instead she was in the kitchen making stir-fry for our lunch.  No time to stop though - we ran to Lowe's to get the storage cabinets, which by the way, weigh a ton!  Oh my gosh, it took so long for them to bring the stuff out because the girl couldn't find anyone to put them on the dolly.  R and I were trying to load them into the truck and another customer kindly helped us.  It was definitely a three person job.  I stopped off at our local Costco to fill the truck with gas - that's something to keep in mind.  If you bring the truck back to Home Depot and the tank isn't filled, they charge $6.50 per gallon to fill it up.  No thanks!  I put $20 in and made sure that was enough.

Back home we ran, left the boxes in the garage, then hauled ourselves back to Home Depot to return the truck.  By now we were both tired and hungry, and R was getting a headache.  Because of unforeseen delays we had the truck for 3 hours, so I ended up paying $62 for the rental.  With gas the total came to $82, more than I'd wanted to spend, but considering that I was able to get so much done that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise, it wasn't a bad investment.  Besides, now I'm able to enjoy this:

It looks so pretty, and is extremely comfortable!  The pillows were Christmas gifts from my son R.  He got each of us a pillow that he felt best described our interests:  A got Alice In Wonderland because of her love of Disney, E got Treasure Island, filled with adventure, and I got Sherlock Holmes.  My son knows me only too well!  Classic English literature, crime and mystery, all rolled into one.  Sherlock Holmes has been my favorite since I was a teen.  It never gets old!  Anyway, there is enough seating here for our family and then some.  I'm so in love with the look!  I would like to eventually get an area rug, but with Molly I don't know if that's the best idea.  The area rug I had in the living room had to be thrown out because Molly's nails kept getting caught in the rug and it was looking pretty shredded.  I don't think I want to do that again.

By the way, the stir-fry turned out exceptionally delicious!  It was a chicken stir-fry with lots of veggies and a spicy sauce.  It disappeared off my plate very quickly!  I'm so thankful to my son R who ran all around town with me, my son E for helping me get the furniture moved and everything put together, and my baby girl for cooking and cleaning.  I'm especially thankful to God for making it all possible - I couldn't have done it without Him!

We haven't put the garage storage cabinets together yet - that's our next project.  Can't wait to get that done as well!  Stay tuned!

Weekend, Day One

Something about today I wish would never end.  The weather.  Oh my word, it is such a gorgeous day!  We started off with 59 degrees and have stayed in the low 70's with the most scrumptious breeze imaginable.  The sun is shining, the sky is baby blue, the clouds are puffy white.  I'm so gonna enjoy this, because the weather forecast calls for rain for all or most of next week.  While the rain is needed and welcome, it doesn't trump a day like today.  This is the day The Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

I didn't get out of bed till 8:30 this morning.  Yet still, I was tired.  That's because the stupid smoke alarm decided to let us know, in the middle of the night, that its battery was running low.  Not during the day, nooooo.  At night, when we're too tired to get up and go rummaging through the garage for batteries.  Of course, after we got up it quieted down for hours.  I swear, these things are programmed to only go off at night.  I was so frustrated!

I had my breakfast, an English muffin with an egg and bacon, then I got to work on the floors.  With all the schoolwork we'd been doing all week, I pretty much neglected the floors, and they were nasty.  Our dog Molly sheds enough hair to build another dog, and even though I'd Swiffer'd them they were starting to get fluffy.  Not to mention that she drools.  A lot.  There were drool marks in all the places where she huffed and puffed after going for her walks.  Then there were the blood stains.  No, not that; she's fixed.  Molly has a growth under her belly that, according to the vet, is most likely a type of blood cancer.  He didn't look much at it, didn't touch it or anything, then said to be sure what it is it'll cost about $500 - $700.  He would remove the one growth but said she was going to get more.  He also said he wanted an additional $60 to test her for anesthesia reaction.  She'd just been spayed a few months before and had been just fine, so I knew this was unnecessary.  I told the vet we'd have to decide if we could afford this amount of money, and left.  I was so upset, and my daughter A was even more so.  She was heartbroken at the thought that Molly could have cancer; I was fuming at the vet who did no type of examination, just started spewing off dollar amounts.  We discussed our options: obviously, we could go to another vet and spend another $50 - $70 on another diagnosis plus treatment.  Or, we could wait.  Truth be told, she's been normal for the most part, just as active as ever and with a healthy appetite.  If this is cancer, I would not put my dog through treatment.  That may sound cruel to some people, but to me putting a dog through chemo and radiation is even more cruel.  Dogs don't understand what is going on.  Making them sick and suffer through greater pain than they're experiencing will only make them think they're being punished, and they have no say in the matter.  It was decided then, that we would take the best care of Molly that we could, keeping her happy and comfortable if the time came when she was suffering.  That time has not come.  She doesn't complain or act any differently (though today she had an upset stomach; I suspect she found something outside and ate it.  Not the first time).  But occasionally she scratches at the growth on her belly and it bleeds, leaving blood stains on the floor.  So I got the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed up a ton of hair, then mopped and dusted and cleaned till I was even more exhausted than when I'd gotten up.  My only consolation was having the windows open and having the breeze blow inside the house.  That part was sweet.

This morning I got an email from Ulta stating that there was an online special for today only: place an order of $50 or more and get 3 free Too Faced cosmetic items.  It just happens to be that last week I got a coupon for $10 off any $50 Bare Minerals purchase, and there were a couple of things I wanted to get.  I'd told my daughter I wanted to go to Ulta to redeem the coupon so I wouldn't have to order $50 worth of stuff in order to get free shipping, but then I wouldn't get the freebies.  Or as my daughter says, they're feeding my addiction ;-).  I decided I'd just place the order online, but when I totaled up my order it was $46.  I was $4 short of the coupon AND the freebies.  Thankfully my daughter wanted some Bare Minerals concealer, so she added it to my order.  Not only did I get the $10 off and the free Too Faced cosmetics, I also got a free Bare Minerals Matte foundation deluxe sample, which was a bonus.  Since I was ordering, I went ahead and checked the Real Techniques brushes that I'd wanted to buy last month but were out of stock.  They were in stock alright, and they were BOGO: buy one, get one half off.  I decided to go with the Core Collection which was what I had intended to get in the first place, then added a powder brush as well.  I had $3 off in reward points, so the 5 brushes with case totaled $19.99.  Real Techniques brushes are great quality - I have the eye makeup brushes as well as a blush brush, and they're really soft.  The order has been placed and I hope to see it in the next week. Yay!

I'd been looking at reviews for the Bare Minerals Bareskin foundation.  I have this foundation, and I like it a lot, though not as much as my Original powder foundation.  I found that my t-zone gets a bit oily with the liquid foundation, a problem I don't have with the powder.  One reviewer complained about the same thing, saying this makeup isn't ideal for people with oily skin.  Then a Sephora employee that works at the Bare Minerals counter said the key was not to wear any primer with the Bareskin foundation.  Bareskin is not a regular liquid foundation; it's a serum foundation that contains really good stuff for the skin and no binders or fillers.  The purpose of a primer is to fill in fine lines and wrinkles, and hold on to the foundation without it getting into the skin and clogging pores.  But since Bareskin is a serum foundation, you actually do want the serum to penetrate the skin, and wearing it with primer doesn't allow it to, so the makeup just kind of sits on the skin, making it feel greasy.  I decided to put this theory to the test.  I washed and moisturized my face, then put 5 drops of Bareskin foundation on my face (2-3 drops is for light coverage, 4-6 drops is for medium coverage, and 7-8 is for full coverage).  I've been wearing it all day since 10:00 am, and I have to agree.  Except for a small amount of oiliness on my forehead which I was able to lightly dab off, my skin has been oil free.  What's more, my skin looks flawless without it looking like I have makeup on.  Bareskin looks like the name: it's so natural, it's like it's your bare skin, but without blemishes or redness or imperfections.  My daughter even asked me if I was wearing makeup because my skin looked really nice but she couldn't tell if it was because of makeup or not.  That's what I want my makeup to do.  And I don't feel it on me.  Bareskin is very light and comfortable to wear.

For my daughter, switching to Bare Minerals has been a Godsend.  Since using the makeup and moisturizer in conjunction with Michael Todd's skincare products, her rosacea has diminished considerably, and even her serbo psoriasis spots have softened.  These dry patches on her skin can be annoying, because the makeup sticks to them and enhances them.  They have become considerably less noticeable with Bare Minerals, and now that they are softening and aren't as dry as before, she can use less makeup and her skin looks impeccable.  She's happier about looking at herself in the mirror every morning.  That makes this mama's heart sing.

I took down the outdoor Christmas lights and decor, finally.  I think our house was the last one on the block with lights still hanging from the rafters.  While I was outside, I saw my neighbors from two doors down.  They were looking at the house next door, the one between theirs and ours.  My next-door neighbor is selling her house.  We are sad to see them go; this was a new development when we moved in 14 1/2 years ago, and most of the original neighbors are still here.  I do understand, though.  She and her husband divorced, and she's working pretty far from the house.  She's spending a lot of money on gas, and a lot of time away from home.  She decided it was best for her and her kids to move closer to her work.  When she mentioned that she was planning to sell, the couple next door to her decided they wanted to buy the house.  When we first moved in, they were newlyweds moving into a small house.  Now they have two small children and not enough room, but they love the neighborhood and want to stay here.  Buying the house next door would be ideal for them: it's probably about 600 square feet larger than the house they're in now, plus it has a really big yard for the kids.  And it would be the easiest move in history!  We are really hoping they buy the house.  We love our neighbors, and having familiar faces next door would be great.

Dinner was a debate.  We were all hungry, but no one could decide what to eat.  I will eat just about anything, except for Papa John's pizza or Domino's.  As far as I'm concerned, both those "pizzas" should be removed from the face of the earth.  Domino's has the worst tasting sauce (even after they "improved" the sauce), and Papa John's is just plain awful in my opinion.  I'll eat Little Caesar's because it tastes okay, and what do you expect for $5?  I think it's a decent pizza for the price.  It's what we usually have when we eat out, but my daughter said she was tired of eating the same thing and wanted something different.  And that's where the debate started.  My daughter and youngest son went back and forth for over a half hour trying to decide what to get.  Ultimately, they got two pepperoni pizzas.  From Little Caesar's.  Kids.  *rolls eyes*

After dinner we watched a DVD I got for my son R for Christmas: Weird Al's Greatest Videos.  Oh man, did that bring back memories!  I've been listening to Weird Al since the early 80's when he got started doing song parodies, and I introduced my kids to him when they were little tykes.  We are all great fans, so when I found this DVD I knew I had to get it for my oldest son, who appreciates it most.  We had a lot of laughs and totally enjoyed oldies along with newer videos.  I'm pretty sure my son is happy with that gift.

Well, that's pretty much it for today.  I washed and exfoliated and now my face feels soft, silky, and clean.  Tomorrow is a big day: Winter Jam is coming to South Florida, and we are going!  I have to admit, I'd forgotten it was tomorrow.  For some reason I thought it was next weekend.  My daughter reminded me a little while ago, and I wanted to kick myself, because I was gonna help E study for his finals but I'd decided he'd already had such a full week that I would leave it for tomorrow.  Now it's probably not gonna happen.  But hey, Skillet will be performing!  That's something to look forward to!  Good night, sleep tight, God bless.

Throwback Thursday

I don't typically do Throwback Thursdays on Facebook, or Flashback Friday for that matter.  I've put up a couple of pictures of myself with my kids, who then proceed to chide me for posting their childhood pictures on Facebook.  Today's throwback is more about remembering.  No pictures needed.

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night.  Between a stuffed up nose that barely let me breathe, and a couch that, while comfortable, isn't my normal sleeping arrangement, it was 1:30 in the morning before I was finally able to lie down (not completely flat, or my nose would get all stuffy again) and get some sleep till about 7 am when the orchestra in my yard started their morning chirp.  I don't hear the symphony in my bedroom, but in the family room...my word, are those birds loud!  There was no way I was going to get anymore sleep, so I got up and checked on the kids.  They slept like angels on my bed.  Little sweethearts who had no idea that their beloved great-grandmother, whom they've lived with all their lives, is now in heaven.

I thought about Great-Grandma Maria, a woman who always cared about the needs of others before her own.  She raised her 10 children, plus several orphans that she felt sorry for.  She helped raise grandkids and great-grandkids.  She rarely complained about anything, and always had a good disposition.  Sad as it is to say goodbye, I can't help but celebrate her long life.  She is no longer in pain, no longer suffering.  For that, I can rejoice.

The middle child got up at 8:30 looking for breakfast.  Thank God I always keep a box of Cocoa Puffs in the house, because he has lots of allergies and is somewhat of a picky eater.  The other two kids got up an hour later.  My son R was playing on his Wii U and he let them play along - boy were they excited about that!  As they played I put away some more Christmas decorations, but I was moving slow.  I'd taken some Tylenol Sinus which states that it's a non-drowsy formula, but that never is true with me.  All sinus medicines make me drowsy, or at least leave me feeling drained.  Add to that my lack of sleep and it's easy to understand why everything I did was in slow-motion.  After playing video games for a little while, the two older kids did some homework.  I think it's ironic that so many parents say they could never homeschool their kids, meanwhile my niece, who is in third grade, got two homework packets plus assignments on Reading Plus and Reflex Math, both programs on the computer.  Her brother is in second grade, and he also got two homework packets.  Their mom says the kids come home each day with no less than 6 pages of homework, each.  I'm so thankful I get to be my son's teacher, and his assignments are nowhere near as overwhelming!

Their mom came to pick them up just as they were sitting down to pizza.  She told me that the funeral for Grandma will be on Sunday, and the burial on Monday.  She looked like she was running on auto-pilot; there are so many preparations to take care of, that she hasn't really sat down to grieve.  I know the time will come, the realization will hit, and the grief will manifest itself, but for now she is trying her hardest to be calm, for the sake of her kids.  I admire her resolve to protect her children.  I also feel for her and her mom.  They've been Grandma's primary caregivers for as long as I can remember.  They will feel the loss most profoundly.

After they left, I finished making lunch.  White rice, pinto beans, ground beef and tater tots.  This is my family's favorite meal of all time.  It's also really simple to make, which is good when I have lots to do, like today.  I wanted to finish getting as much done around the house as I possibly could so I could get some rest.  I finished eating, and began taking the lights off the Christmas tree.  I heard a truck stop in front of my neighbor's house across the street: it was FedEx.  Molly began growling at the door, and I laughed at the fact that FedEx can't even deliver a package to our neighbors without her getting upset.  I was actually calling her away from the door, saying, "That's not for us, Molly!" when my daughter says, "He's coming this way."  Sure enough, the FedEx guy was coming to our door.  "Hmm," I wondered, "what did R order?" Because if it had been my daughter's package she would have said so, and I knew it wasn't mine.  I hadn't ordered anything.  I was sure it wasn't mine.

It was mine.

My daughter got the box and said, "It's for you, Mom.  It's from Bare Escentuals."  I couldn't figure out what they were sending me, unless...the sweepstakes?!  But no, it couldn't be, because they would have advised me first, not just shipped a box to me.  Then my daughter says, "Maybe it's that order that you called to cancel."  No, couldn't be that either.  The duplicate order was caught in time.  That's what the customer service rep had told me.  Well, there was only one way to find out.  I had to open the package.

There it was, all the product that I'd received on December 24th, the shipment I'd called to cancel.  It had shipped anyway.  What's more, the packing list showed the order total: $0.00.  My daughter quickly told me I had to call them, but I checked my credit card statement first.  Maybe they'd charged me after all.  I wouldn't complain; after all, I'd be paying for one order when they'd shipped two.  But no, there was no charge on my credit card.  So, I called and explained to a new customer service rep what had transpired since December 23rd.  She listened, read the notes on the order, then told me that, while they had tried to cancel the second shipment, it had obviously not been cancelled.  Since this was a replacement shipment it went out as no charge, so therefore, Merry Christmas, the order was free!  I could not believe it!  That's two shipments of $116 that I got FOR FREE!!!  We were elated! Once again, I raved to the rep about how much I love Bare Minerals and how happy I am to receive so much great product!  Since the original order was half mine and half my daughters, and since we'd both already gotten our half the first time, we decided to swap.  She got what I'd ordered, and I got what she ordered.  Oh, I am so thrilled!!  The first thing my daughter said to me was, "Now you really don't need to be ordering anymore makeup!"  I have to agree.  I have enough to last me for quite a while.

It was a whole lot easier getting the house back in order after receiving that wonderful little gift.  I believe God sent that to us to brighten our day just a little.  We are still kind of in shock about Grandma, even though we knew this day was coming, and that it would arrive sooner rather than later.  And while we are saddened by her loss, there is also relief.  Grandma was very ill the last 9 months of her life.  She'd always been an energetic, independent woman.  In the end she was bedridden and miserable.  She had multiple bowel perforations that could not be operated on due to her age and her ailing heart.  She had 3 heart attacks this year; how she survived them is nothing less than a miracle.  She was too weak to walk, too sick to eat, and all she could do all day was sleep.  Now she is in heaven, where there are no more tears, no more sadness.  She can walk again, dance even.  How much better she must feel!

I stopped for dinner, but I can't say if it tasted good or not.  That's one of the things I hate most about being congested - my taste buds don't function like they should.  My nose has been stuffy on and off all day.  The sneezing has been powerful too.  I'm almost afraid of sneezing and my nose flying off my face.  Of course, that might bring some relief :P.

There are still one or two items that need to be put away, along with all the outdoor decorations, but I'm too tired to finish that today.  I took a hot shower hoping it would clear up my sinuses.  I should be able to get everything done tomorrow, along with grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning...I sure do hope I feel better tomorrow so I can get everything done.  My kids are asking that I watch them play their NintendoLand video game.  I think I'll do that for a little while before I head off to bed, Benadryl in hand.  Good night everybody.

2014 Comes To An End

It seems like this year went in a blur.  I know, everyone says that every year, but there's something about getting older that makes it more real.  My babies growing up, my hair growing whiter, my waistline growing in the wrong direction...well, at least I can work on some of those items.  One thing I can say with a big smile on my face:  I did it.  I blogged everyday this month.  I didn't think I'd do it, because I couldn't figure out what I would blog about.  In the end I decided to use my blog for what I'd originally intended it, which was a daily diary.  I would write about what went on during my day, and if it was a boring day I would write that.  Instead, I found that there was plenty to write about.  Life isn't all that boring ya'll!  There are always funny stories, mini-adventures and minor mishaps to write about, even on the quietest days.  I think I'm gonna enjoy looking back at what was going on during December 2014.

After my daughter had returned the Bare Minerals Starter Kit I'd bought her and gotten her store credit, she wondered about what she would get with the $45 left on the card (she had purchased a brush but Ulta was out of stock on almost everything because of the Christmas rush).  This morning as I was waking up and thinking about it being the last day of the year, I remembered I had reward points with Ulta which I could redeem for a $3 credit.  I know it isn't much, but they expire today (hence why I remembered them today).  I told my daughter she was welcome to use them since I wasn't going to be ordering anything from Ulta today and I didn't want the points to go to waste.  (She'd had points too, but she used them the day she bought the brush).  My daughter then went online and for the next 3 hours looked over and tried to decide what she wanted to purchase.  My daughter is a very intelligent young lady, but she doesn't do well with options.  She will second-guess herself and go back and forth trying to make a decision.  She called me over several times to look at this or find out about that.  I think by the end she was mentally exhausted, but she finally came up with a shopping bag with $58 worth of products.  As she went through the checkout process, she came to the payment section and keyed in the number on the card the store had given her.  It asked for a pin number.  We looked all over the card but there was none.  She hadn't been given one at the store either.  We both checked the website looking for where this infamous pin number was found, but to no avail.  Finally, I called Ulta's customer service number that was on the card.  It was a wrong number :P.  So I looked up the number on the website and called.  Finally I got through to a customer service rep, who explained that store credits cannot be used for online orders.  Gee, thanks for telling me.  Three hours of searching gone down the drain, along with my $3 worth of points.  Oh well.  Ce la vie.

For the last day of the year I went with a traditional meal:  roast pork.  Or as my son calls it, roast beast (a la Grinch).  It spent 3 1/2 hours in the oven.  I hope that the whole house smelled delicious.  I don't know because I woke up with a stuffed up nose.  Allergy season, ugh!!  I know several people have been complaining about the same thing.  It's not supposed to be this hot and muggy at the end of December.  It throws everything off.  The whole day was cloudy and gloomy, too.  No rain, just clouds and gloom.  It's like I'm not really in Florida.  This isn't what Florida is supposed to look like.   Anyway, getting back to the pork; let me just say the taste was off the charts!  It took me back to my childhood.  Yeah, that good.  We had the pork with white rice, pinto beans, and french fries, because I forgot to make salad or anything else.  That's what allergies do to me.  They mess up my brain.

I decided that, even though we weren't going anywhere or doing anything special, I would still fix myself up.  I showered and washed my hair, did my makeup using the Dazzle colors from my Bare Minerals kit, and blow dried my hair.  It turned out beautiful!  Why is it my hair always looks best when I have nowhere to go?!  I used the eye primer from Bare Minerals that I'd used Christmas Eve, the Gold Nugget one, but this time I used a teeny tiny amount.  It was about the size of a pinhead.  The amount was perfect.  It went on like a golden bronze color all over my lid and above the crease.  Once again I realized that when it comes to Bare Minerals, less is more.  I did a smokey eye but not a very dark one.  Getting older means smoked out eye makeup looks aging.  Along with the gold nugget, which can be used as a primer and an eye color, I used Tantalize which is sort of a charcoal brown colored powder eyeshadow.  I put it on the lid and blended it up just above the crease, then used it as a liner on my bottom lashes.  I lined my top lashes with the black eyeliner that came with the Dazzle kit.  It looks gorgeous!  I've always liked bold eye colors, but I find I'm more drawn to neutrals now.  This color is a cross between a neutral and a bold look, and I'm quite pleased with it.  I will remember 2014 as the year I was introduced to Bare Minerals and fell in love with makeup all over again.

We're staying up late to await the arrival of the new year.  We couldn't go to sleep if we wanted to; our backyard neighbor is doing some really loud fireworks in their yard.  Poor Molly is scared to death with all the noise :-(.  I guess it's not a bad thing.  I can stay up watching past episodes of the Tonight Show - that Jimmy Fallon is a funny guy!  I watched the episode with Carrie Underwood where she sang her newest hit, Something In The Water.  The lyrics to that song really touched my heart!  She's an amazing singer with incredible talent and a heart for Jesus.

That's gonna be it for 2014.  God bless our nation, my family, my friends, and you, whoever and wherever you are.  Jesus loves you.  Have a safe, happy, and blessed New Year.