Sunday, January 4, 2015

Saying Goodbye To Grandma

This year started on a sad note for us.  Having to say goodbye to a loved one is never easy, but it does help us appreciate the moments we had.  It reminds us of how precious life is.

I woke up feeling a bit better this morning.  It was 7:30 and for the first time in days I felt well rested.  I showered and washed my hair.  It was my intention to wash my hair last night, but my son's friend left later than originally planned, and once the Benadryl kicked in there was no way I was gonna start blow drying and styling my hair.  I ran a bit late today; well, more than a bit late, but part of that was E's fault.  He's a turtle most mornings.  I got to Sunday School after the class had started, which I hate because everyone turns to look at the late arrival.  My SS teacher has been sick with bronchitis so our class combined with the young adult class, making it even more awkward.  Since I was late I couldn't tell everyone about Grandma; I did tell a couple of people from my class who had been praying for her, and they were very compassionate.  After class I went down to a very moving service.  Pastor Ray had all the men come up to the front of the church, where he prayed for them to be good leaders of their homes in the new year.  It was such a special time, watching these men of God commit to being leaders in all things, the home, work, community and church.  He then spoke about the vision for 2015: to be a church of disciples that makes disciples.  The emphasis is to train people, to mentor them, to help them grow in their walk with God.  It was so encouraging!  We want to see our church grow, and to do that we all have to do our part.  Lord, help me do mine!

When we got home I was starting to feel stuffed up again, so I made a pot of chicken and dumplings, because ya'll know, nothing makes a body feel better than comfort food.  Chicken and dumplings makes my mouth dance and my stomach smile.  I hoped it would help me feel better, since I had to finish folding laundry as well before we headed out to the funeral, but I was feeling short of breath and was dry coughing, an indication that asthma is coming on.  Much as I hate it, I used my inhaler, and that did alleviate the breathing problem.  Once my nerves settled, we headed for the funeral home.

I should explain the circumstances with the family.  Since my husband and I separated, his immediate family has basically forgotten that we exist.  I have not heard from or seen my mother-in-law, sisters-in-law or brothers-in-law in almost 4 years.  There are family members that still talk to us, but his parents and siblings have chosen to ignore us.  So going to this funeral for his grandmother meant that I would have to see them, and I didn't know how that was going to go over.  I prayed about it, asking God to help me deal with this situation in a way that would honor both Him and grandma.  We arrived at the funeral home and my daughter was texting some friends from church who had said they would try to come, when we looked up and saw one of the pastors and a couple of the guys from her church, one who works with her at the office and another young man.  They'd come to accompany us and encourage us, which really meant the world to me.  It made going inside a little less daunting.

We were met by my cousin's husband, who has come to my daughter's church a few times.  He quickly went to get his wife, who was in tears but so glad to see us.  She was even happier when she saw the pastor was there.  We were able to go in and spend time with her and her mom, and one of the guys prayed with us and with them.  The whole time we were there, my kid's father stayed as far from us as possible.  His siblings also kept their distance.  Other family members came over and greeted us, but his mother and siblings looked at us from afar and then ignored us.  Honestly, I think it was for the best.  I didn't want anyone making a scene.  Grandma deserved better than that.

We stayed for about an hour and a half, then I told them I was sick and needed to go home.  It wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be, and for that I'm thankful.  What bothered me most was the fact that their dad stayed away from his kids, then when we were leaving the kids went over to him and he said, "Thanks for coming."  Really?  Thanks for coming?  It disappointed my daughter tremendously, which in turn upset me.  But seeing as that was the worst part of the night, I feel like it didn't go off so bad.

So now we're back home.  My nose is stuffed up again.  I'll have to do something about that.  School starts up again tomorrow, so I need to be alert and rested.  I'm gonna wash my face, get into my jammies, and hopefully get a full night's sleep so I can be ready for homeschooling.  Good night everyone.

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