Setting Up (A New) House

Closing on my old house was on September 9. Closing on my new home didn't happen till September 25. Two weeks of preparation. I had HOA documents to fill out, meetings with management companies and homeowner's association directors, services to cancel or redirect...those two weeks were still pretty busy and filled with excitement. My daughter and son-in-law offered us a room in their home so we wouldn't have to stay in a hotel. It was a great blessing, especially since they live just three minutes away from our new house. 

Thanks to my wonderful realtor we were able to do the closing at the property immediately after doing the walk-through. My POD was delivered that very day, and the hard work began once again.

I'm so glad the new property has a one car garage, but because we were unloading the POD on my new driveway my parking spot was blocked and so was my garage. As a resident I couldn't park in the guest spots, so I had to unload the container as much as possible, then go back to my daughter's house. My daughter and son-in-law had to work, so it was up to E and me to unload everything as quickly as possible. We emptied over half our belongings just on that first day, after giving the place a good cleaning. By the 28th it was completely emptied out.

I'd begun ordering furniture for the master bedroom, starting with the nightstands which I purchased off of Walmart.com. The bed and mattress were ordered from Amazon, and they arrived on the 25th and 26th. We moved things into the garage first, then moved them up to the office, which became the staging area for the first few weeks.

The POD was picked up on September 30, and that was our official move-in date. From that moment on everything is a blur, honestly. There was unpacking, arranging, rearranging; internet set up; furniture delivery and so much more. During this time we received sad news: my children's grandfather passed away after years of struggling with COPD. It was somewhat unexpected; he'd been sick and hospitalized so many times before and had ultimately pulled through. This time he'd been sent to a rehab center, then back home. He died in his own home, in his own bed, which was what he wanted. 

But we had good news too. My son R came to visit us on October 5, less than a week after we'd moved in. Much of the house was set up by then, and he helped with some of the unpacking as well. He only stayed for the weekend but it was so nice to have him with us. 

I didn't take many pictures during that time. I was so busy I didn't think about it, but I did manage a few pics.

I decided on a queen sized bed with an upholstered headboard. I bought the bedspread at Costco for $30, and the sheet set was $16 and extremely soft and comfy. My idea was to have my clothes in the closet and just a few items in the nightstands just as I'd done with my old bedroom set, but I soon realized the nightstands were much smaller than my old ones, so I ordered the matching chest of drawers.

All the accessories were items I'd brought from my old house except for the lamps. My lovely realtor gifted me a $100 gift certificate for Home Goods/TJ Maxx/Marshalls, and since I have a TJ Maxx close to my new home I decided to use it there. I went on a Monday and found out TJ Maxx gives 10% off on Mondays to everyone 55 and older. First time I was happy to be a senior citizen!! I also went by the clearance section and picked up an artificial plant and stand.

I'd given my old patio furniture to my daughter because it wouldn't fit on my new patio, so I purchased a couple of rocking chairs and a small table from Amazon for $125.

My favorite part of the little patio is the view. Since it's completely screened in, we can enjoy it without worrying about mosquitos and bugs. I have my wire rack that was in my old garage as a plant/decor stand, making the spot homey.

There were some projects I'd planned, but that'll be in my next blog post. Stay tuned!

Not Another Hurricane?!?!

Nothing grabs a Floridian's attention like the threat of a hurricane. The big ones, not the little ones. Floridians laugh at a category 1 and chuckle at a category 2. But anything above a cat 3 and mass hysteria breaks loose. Mention cat 5 and folks start running for the hills (you know, Georgia, Alabama...).

So imagine my despair when we heard that there was a hurricane in the Caribbean and it was headed our way. At first we just tracked it. After all, it was just a category 1, but it would disrupt the move and the closing on my house. 

We breathed a sigh of relief when Dorian missed Puerto Rico. The island still hadn't fully recovered from Hurricane Maria back in 2017; Dorian could well have decimated what was left. The bad news was, it was headed for Florida. It was just a category 1, but all that rain and wind... Still, we could handle it.

That was August 28. By August 30 it was a cat 2; it intensified to cat 4 by August 31 and became an extremely powerful category 5 on September 1, the day it reached Great Abaco Island in the Bahamas. A quick map search on Google will show how close South Florida is to the Bahamas. This poor island got hammered before Dorian moved to destroy Grand Bahama Island where it stalled for a day while it lost strength. When it finally moved away from the Bahamas it had weakened to a category 2.

What was happening to South Florida in the meantime? Initially people had prepared; many put up shutters and bought supplies. I had scheduled for a POD to come on September 4 but I postponed it in anticipation of the hurricane. By August 31, however, the models showed we were no longer in the cone (weather talk for the hurricane is no longer coming our way). I still put up some of the shutters in the back of the house on my daughter's insistence, but all we got was rain. We were heartbroken for the islands of the Bahamas but grateful that the storm turned and avoided us completely.

The storm didn't deter me from the work I needed to get done. Closing was scheduled for September 9. I wasn't about to let a hurricane distract me. I still had items I needed to sell. I listed my barstools on OfferUp on August 30. They were sold and picked up the very next day. I'd bought these barstools several years before from Costco, and since I'd used my rebate check they'd cost me $20 each. I sold all three of them for $60, so basically I'd used them for about 5 years and got my money back :-). I then posted my son's old gaming chair (he'd bought a new one). That sold super quick - same day. So did the lawn mower and pressure washer. I wasn't going to need those anymore.

I called PODS to reschedule the pick up on September 2, once we were certain the hurricane wasn't coming. They gave me some bad news: the date I needed was no longer available. There wouldn't be anything available till September 9, the day of closing. That wasn't gonna work. Since I was closing on the sale of my house on the 9th but wouldn't close on the purchase of my new property for 2 weeks after that, I didn't want to load my things into a truck, unload them into a storage facility, reload them two weeks later and unload again. I began looking for other POD type services and found Pack Rat, which had good reviews and could deliver the POD on September 5. Not only that, they were a couple hundred dollars cheaper! God took care of us again.

I ordered the largest available container, 16'. I had decluttered enough that I believed I could fit everything into the container, and whatever didn't fit would stay behind.

We started with boxes in the back, along with the dining room table. I was a bit concerned, as I watched the space get filled up pretty quickly and there was still a lot that needed to go in. 

These racks had to be cleared. Most of what was here was Christmas decor. I decided what I would keep, what I would give away, and what would go to Goodwill. I didn't have time to start selling the smaller items; unfortunately, Hurricane Dorian took up more of my time than I'd anticipated. I kept only the items that I knew I couldn't part with, and got rid of the rest.

By the time I was done, all that was left was where the items that needed to go in my car: my toolbox and cleaning items. 

That weekend my daughter and son-in-law came over and helped us move everything we could fit into the POD, since pick up was scheduled for Monday the 9th, closing day. 

We emptied the pantry...

The dining room...

Shrink-wrapped the sectional before loading into the container...

And took everything out of my son's bedroom...

J came to pick up the wall unit in the master bedroom.

This massive piece of furniture is about 12 feet long and 7 feet high. It had been put together inside the bedroom because it wouldn't fit in the room otherwise - it's taller than the doorway. It was mostly empty, even before the move. I'd asked J months earlier if he wanted it since I wasn't using it. He gave me the same story of "yes I want it, I'll pick it up when I have a chance," but never did. When I told him I'd sold the house I gave him a chance again to take the furniture piece if he wanted it, otherwise it was going to the dump. So a few days before the move J came to take it apart before hauling it away.

He picked it up September 7, just 2 days before closing. That left only the king size bedframe, mattress and box springs, and nightstands. As we finished packing everything else up into the container, I quickly realized these last items were not going to fit. Yet, I wasn't upset about it. We'd owned the bedroom set for 17 years. Yes, the mattress was that old. While I'd loved my big, comfy bed, I felt it was time to let it go. I'd sold enough items that I could easily afford a new bed and bedroom furniture, and that's what I would do. 

That Sunday, September 8, I said my goodbyes at church. That was the hardest day for me. I was moving a good 45 minutes away, not convenient for traveling 2 - 3 times a week for church services and activities. Everyone treated me so lovingly, all I could do was cry. That afternoon, my neighbor kindly took whatever was left (including the bedroom furniture) to the dump. I'd put a few things out on the curb to be picked up, and people in the neighborhood came by to take them. I went back and checked all the rooms before leaving for my daughter's house.

Closing was the next day at 10:30 am. It all happened so quickly, and 19 years of memories were put safely away. I went by the house in the morning one last time to take some trash out of the garage, and walked through one last time to say goodbye.

Part of me was sad; I'd worked hard to make this a beautiful and comfortable home for my family. But a big part of me knew it was time for new beginnings. I would treasure in my heart the happy memories made here, and try to forget the painful ones. Keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus, I relished the thought of a new day, and making new memories. 

Preparing For A Move

The papers were signed, inspections done...now the (not so) fun part would really begin in full force. Decluttering, sorting, packing, labeling, and oh yes, selling.

The home I was leaving was about 1,800 square feet plus a two car garage. We were less people, now that my daughter was married and gone from the nest as well as her older brother. Our new home was smaller - no family room, no third bedroom closed off, and only a one car garage. It was perfect for us; after all, it would just be my youngest son E and myself. But it meant there would be things we wouldn't be taking with us because they simply would not fit.

I had two large storage cabinets in the garage that I'd bought from Lowe's just 4 years earlier. 

I knew that I might be able to fit the smaller cabinet but not the larger. I considered selling them, but my daughter said her mother-in-law was interested in the larger one. I had no problem giving them both away or keeping just the smaller one. I'd used the large cabinet as a pantry which I no longer needed. The smaller one I used to keep tools and cleaners for the car. Her in-laws came by and picked up both cabinets. I was glad because it was one less thing I'd have to pack or re-home.

 

It was easy to empty out because I was mindful to use whatever food was in there rather than go grocery shopping. 

The next thing that had to go was one of the sectionals. I had one in the living room and one in the family room, and although the one in the family room was newer it wasn't as good quality as the one I'd gotten from Costco 4 years before. I decided to list the sectional, which I'd bought off of Amazon, on OfferUp. I spoke with a friend who'd sold things on the app and she said she'd had great experiences. Amazingly, it sold and was picked up all within 2 hours! I decided I would continue posting and see how much I could sell.

I posted my glass tables and ceramic lamps. These had been purchased 20 years before, so I wondered if they would sell, since they were no longer in style.

Although they were pretty and were in excellent condition, neither item got more than some passing interest. I didn't let that deter me, and I posted my china cabinet that I'd lovingly stained. It sold the very next day.

While I loved this piece, I knew I wouldn't need it. The new house had a dry bar right off the dining room that could easily house everything in the china cabinet and then some. I did keep the dining room table, and began using the dining room itself as a staging area for my boxes.

Next, my daughter and son-in-law rented a truck to take her bedroom set, which they'd be using in their guest room. Since there was plenty of room in the truck, I offered her my old patio furniture (too big to fit on our new balcony) and the television with stand from the family room. I had the fireplace/tv stand in the living room, along with the bookcases, and that's all I would need in the new house. 

Once her bedroom set was gone, her bedroom was the first to be emptied out.

I continued to pack, declutter, and take things to Goodwill. The barbeque grill wouldn't be going with me, since I wouldn't have anywhere to put a grill. I tried my best to clean it so I could sell it, but after being outside for years, even with a cover, it was pretty beat up. I put it out on the curb, and before the day was over it was picked up by a Comcast technician who'd been working in the area. 

Everything seemed to be moving right along like clockwork. But it's just like Florida to throw a wrench in the works - a wrench named Dorian. Would we get hit with a category 5 hurricane?! It was time to get back on my knees and pray for a miracle! 

Packing And Searching

When God lays something on your heart, there's a good reason for it. I had spent two years decluttering my home, first little by little, then more aggressively. Months before putting my house up for sale, I was making deposits at the local Goodwill monthly. When it came time to pack up my house, I was so grateful to have much less to pack and go through. I was intentional about keeping only the things that I loved and that I could use (and fit) into a smaller home.

Of course, I didn't really know what I could and couldn't keep until I found the right place. Things were moving quickly, but I was aware that a home purchase could fall apart over any detail. Thankfully the buyers were already pre-approved by their bank. It all rested on inspection and appraisal.

The inspection was scheduled for August 1, just one week after the house was put up for sale. I was so relieved when, after 3 hours of very detailed checking, the inspector declared that the house had only minor issues. He pointed out that the exhaust fan in the master bathroom wasn't working. He was right; it hadn't worked in years and I'd never given it a second thought. He also said the washing machine was leaking. It wasn't. Occasionally the drain would get clogged, though I wasn't sure why. Since these were the only issues he mentioned in front of me, I went ahead and had a new exhaust fan put in the bathroom that afternoon. Strangely enough, I used the washing machine and the water drained with no problem for 2 weeks. Then suddenly the drain began backing up again. Rather than leave it that way and hope it was a fluke, I called a plumber and had the drain unclogged. Whenever he showed me what came out I was shocked. It was baking soda! I often added baking soda to my laundry since it's supposed to help with odors, and whenever I did yardwork my clothes reeked. I had no idea it could harden in the pipes and cause blockage. Lesson learned!

My realtor had a mini vacation scheduled for August 8 - 13 which I'd known about before the house ever went up for sale. August 14 we went house hunting. What I was looking for was a townhouse 1,500-1,600 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, preferably a corner unit so I wouldn't have neighbors on both sides. I was open to fixing up a place so long as it was in my budget and wasn't major repairs needed. My son E went with us, since he was going to be living there too. I also wanted an extra set of eyes that knew what I wanted and needed. We saw 5 homes on the first day, 4 homes the next day. Whenever I liked a place, my son didn't. He would point out things and I could see his point. Whenever he liked a place, I didn't. We saw places that needed way more work than I wanted to take on. There were kitchens that were too small, homes with very little storage, narrow staircases, small rooms. We saw one place that I immediately loved; it was a townhouse that looked like a single family home. The space was great, the layout was perfect, but the association fees were so high that I wouldn't be able to afford it. Which my son didn't mind; he didn't like the place! Rather than get nervous or worried, I trusted that God knew the place He had chosen and would show us at the right time.

August 17 we had 5 more homes lined up to see. We went to the first one at 11:00 am. The first thing I noticed was how well maintained the development looked. I even questioned the age of the homes; I couldn't believe they were over 30 years old! This townhouse was unique in that the living area was upstairs and only the garage and entryway were downstairs. We were welcomed by a nice wide staircase, and as we went up and turned all three of us said, "Wow!" The home was light and airy. It all looked to be in excellent condition. The kitchen had been updated, as had both bathrooms. The house was even painted in colors that went perfectly with my own taste and decor! The only downside was that one of the bedrooms wasn't really a bedroom. It was completely open to the rest of the living space. I had wanted a third bedroom for whenever we had company. Still, as we went through the home, I couldn't help but see all the pros. There was a window above the kitchen sink that looked out onto a canal and lots of tall, beautiful trees. There was no backyard, just a balcony that was completely screened in and had a lovely tiled floor looking out to a gorgeous view. My son E and I measured the rooms and were pleasantly surprised at how large and roomy they were - the second bedroom was bigger that the bedroom he had at the house, plus it had a walk-in closet! Even the one car garage had tons of storage. It was the first time that my son and I both agreed on a place. As we were leaving my realtor said, "Okay, tell me what's wrong with the place so I can tell you how wrong you are!" And I had to admit I really really liked it. 

We decided since we still had appointments to go to, we would see what else was available before making a decision. We ended up only seeing two more properties, and they were nowhere near what we were looking for. One backed up to a shopping center, the other needed lots of work. We were supposed to see two more, but no one was there to open the door and we couldn't get the lockbox open. We were all convinced God had led us to the perfect place. Now we just needed to make an offer.

Since the townhouse was advertised as a 3 bedroom but in reality it only had 2, I offered $12,000 less than the asking price but also said I'd be ready to close in 3 weeks. The seller dropped the asking price by $8,000 but said she wouldn't be able to move and close that soon. So my realtor negotiated a little more, explaining that I would have to pay for storage for my things since I would be out of my own house by September 9. Ultimately, I got the house for $9,500 below asking and I was thrilled! The best part - I would be purchasing the house cash, no mortgage, no debt. Hallelujah!! I had sold my house and signed a purchase contract for a new house in less than a month! God is so good y'all!

2019 When God Closes A Door, He Opens A Window (Part 3)

I was ready. All the projects that could get done, were done. I fixed or got things fixed. I painted, changed old faucets, scrubbed and staged my home. I was ready.

My realtor and I sat down and went over all the details, what to expect, pricing, offers, everything I needed to know before the house went on the market. We agreed on a date: July 25 the listing would be posted on the MLS. Since she was leaving on vacation the first week in August, we wouldn't have an open house until later, maybe September. While the listing would specify that we wanted 24 hours notice, I was prepared to have my house ready for showings at a moment's notice. My realtor explained that quite often people will expect to be able to see a house much sooner, especially when the market is hot. I had no problem with that and I trusted my realtor to guide me.

At noon on July 25 the listing went live. I had spent the morning in the yard cutting the grass, trimming edges, cleaning up...for 2 1/2 hours. I was tired y'all! That night all the Sunday school teachers had a meeting at church with the children's ministry director. At around 4:00 I received a call from my realtor. A couple wanted to come see the house. I asked when, and she said, "Tonight. The buyer is a firefighter and has a tight schedule." I had cleaned up the house inside and out, so I figured it would be fine. I wouldn't be there because of the meeting at church, but I told my realtor I'd leave her the keys and she was welcome to show the house.

As my son E and I were leaving, a car drove up which I assumed were the buyers. My realtor was ready and waiting. I saw a woman get out of the car accompanied by what seemed like a couple of young kids. Upon closer inspection, I realized the "young kids" were the potential buyers and the woman was their agent. I chuckled as we drove off. I knew perfectly well that my house was not going to appeal to them. My house was decorated in my style which is not contemporary, not modern farmhouse, not boho or any of the other popular styles we see so prominently on magazines and YouTube. I went off to my meeting.

Another couple came by to see the house as well. This couple was older and very picky. They asked a lot of questions, things that normally are asked at inspection, so I assume they'd had some unpleasant experiences in the past. That didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was the call I received from my realtor at 10:00 that night - I would be receiving an offer in the morning!

No, it wasn't the older couple; it was the young couple who had first come by the house. They'd been saving for a house for four years, and while they'd made offers on other homes they'd been outbid on several occasions. Now they were ready to act and get what he called "the perfect house". I was caught totally off guard when I received a strong offer. We negotiated a couple of times and before the end of the day on July 26 I had accepted an offer and we'd signed the contracts. My house had gone on the market and sold in 24 hours! I laughed when they came to put in the For Sale sign after the fact!

I'm not gonna lie, I was in shock that first day. It seemed like I was dreaming. The next day I went into full panic mode. My heart was racing as I wondered what I was going to do next. I was prepared to wait at least a couple of months for the house to sell, in which time I would decide whether I wanted to move near my daughter (about a 45 minute drive away) or near my oldest son in Central Florida. Now I realized there wasn't a whole lot of time to think things through. I finally sat myself down and began to pray. God, in His infinite kindness, brought peace to my heart. I wouldn't have to figure out where to move; I had 45 days to find a place or else my belongings were gonna have to go into storage, something I didn't want to do. That meant Central Florida was out of the picture. I would begin looking in the city my daughter now called home while I packed up my belongings and awaited house inspections and everything else that went along with selling my home. 

I knew I was blessed to have my house sell so quickly; I didn't yet know how much of a blessing it really was. What I did know and still know, is that God is faithful. Just as He'd gotten me buyers for the house, He would lead me where I needed to be next. 

2019 When God Closes A Door, He Opens A Window (Part 2)

As any homeowner knows, there are always projects to do in a home. Even if the property is kept in the most pristine condition, things break, or wear out, or deteriorate, and there isn't a moment when the house is "done". Never is this more apparent than when you're thinking of putting your house on the market.

For the most part, our sweet Molly was a total and complete joy. She wasn't a destructive dog. She didn't chew up anything, not even her own toys. She stayed off the furniture because we told her to, and she knew what rooms she wasn't allowed in. The best dog in the world - but even the best dog isn't perfect. Molly was very protective of "her" backyard, and if any critters got in she meant to get them out. And she knew when they were out there! Our neighbor's cats would get in our yard, or the occasional squirrel would scamper in looking for something to eat. As soon as Molly saw them, she wanted out so she could run them out. In her excitement and enthusiasm, she would claw at the sliding glass door and the flooring right beside it, causing some pretty bad damage.

                                                 

Normally I try to fix things myself, but the laminate wood floor, baseboard and wall were beat up pretty bad. It had gotten wet too, from Molly coming in whenever it was raining. I had all the materials but I didn't have the expertise to fix the flooring, nor could I find anyone willing to do the project.

There was also the yard. Since Hurricane Irma there were trees and stumps in the backyard that I'd wanted removed but hadn't been able to get done. It wasn't that I hadn't tried; I asked several people if they knew a person or company that could do the work without my having to sell my firstborn to pay for it. My neighbor, bless his heart, told me he would do it. But he had plenty of projects of his own. I kept hearing, "Oh yes, I think I know someone," but names never materialized.  

Lastly, there was the fence. The door to the backyard had been put in by J 17 years earlier, and it had not been secured properly. Hurricane winds had done plenty of damage, and now the doors leaned and were difficult to open and close.

I spoke with my best friend, who also happens to be a realtor. I asked if she would be willing to help me sell my house. She was surprised and saddened; her house is just on the other side of the park that's across the street, and we often went there to exercise or would meet up for breakfast. Still, she was more than happy to help me when I explained the reasons why I'd come to this decision, but she also said all the pending projects would have to be finished if I was going to get top dollar. Incredibly, what hadn't been accomplished in 2 years was done in a matter of 2 months.

The flooring had to be repaired, and it was a trial finding someone willing to do it. My realtor called a couple of people, and finally found someone that said he believed it could be done. 

The gentleman pulled out the bad flooring, slid in replacement pieces, then put in a metal plate to secure and keep moisture off the floor. He also repaired the baseboard and the hole in the wall, and all that was left to do was paint.

While this was going on inside, outside my wonderful neighbor was repairing the fence door.

Much of the frame was so damaged and warped that it had to be replaced. Thankfully my neighbor got his hands on some material that's used on decks - not wood but a composite material that won't rot. Once the frame was built, the boards were put back on and, again, I got to painting.

The biggest and most time consuming project was going to be the backyard. Taking down trees that were already falling was not a simple, or inexpensive, job. I asked my neighbor if he had the number for a company that had taken out a very large palmyra palm from his front yard. He insisted it would be easy enough for him to do, and though I was hesitant I finally accepted his help. It took a whole weekend but it got done.

My neighbor, daughter, son, and myself got to work. The trees had to be chopped down, then cut into pieces to be taken to the city dump. The wood was heavy, and we had to contend with bugs and frogs, but when it was done the yard was cleared of two coconut palms that had been on the verge of falling, along with 3 stumps left over from the trees Irma took down.

All of this was going on while planning my daughter's wedding, working four days a week, and serving regularly at the church. I don't know how I did it y'all. I was exhausted, but I was on a mission. These projects would get finished because I wanted the house put on the market during the summer. Would the house be ready in time?  

2019 When God Closes A Door, He Opens A Window (Part 1)

So many of God's blessings are eternal. Salvation, forgiveness, life, are all promises of God that are unchanging. Some blessings, however, are for a season. Our children are babies, then they're toddlers, then school-aged kids, teenagers, and eventually they grow up, leaving the nest and starting families of their own. Each season is a treasure, even if the transition can be difficult and even painful (empty nesters know what I'm talking about). Other seasons of change are unexpected. That's the kind of change I experienced in 2019. Sort of...

When J and I divorced I was able to keep the house that had been my dream home for 16 years. He had purchased a house for himself, so he was able to keep his property and I got to keep the family home (though he was not happy about that). My lawyer was happy for me, but he warned me that I'd have to get a full-time job to be able to pay all the expenses of the house once child support ended. What came out of my mouth was unexpected, even to me: I told him if it got to be too heavy a burden, I would sell it. He looked at me a bit incredulously and stated that purchasing a new home would be just as expensive unless I downsized considerably. I left it at that and said no more.

At the time we were 4 people living in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home complete with formal and informal living spaces and a large backyard. It was comfortable, it was familiar, and it was right for us. But as I mentioned before, children grow up and start lives of their own. It's the natural progression of life. In 2017, when my son announced he was moving to Central Florida, I felt in my heart that the home I'd now lived in for 17 years wouldn't be my home for much longer, and I needed to prepare. I didn't know what God intended for me. I wasn't even 100% sure that I would be leaving my house. But I decided I could prepare for the possibility of a move in a way that, if it didn't happen, it would still benefit me and my family. And so the journey towards simplifying my home began.

It started in my closet. I had not one but two walk-in closets and there were clothes in both, clothes that didn't get worn for one reason or another: they didn't fit anymore; they weren't the most comfortable; I didn't particularly like them but I didn't want to get rid of them. I had decluttered some things before, but I realized I was asking myself the wrong questions. "Will I ever need this in the future?" was one question that made me keep a lot of "what ifs" in my wardrobe. I needed a mind shift. As I prayed and asked God for guidance, He showed me that a time was coming when my beloved home would be too big for me, too much space, too much work, too much of a financial burden. What I would need for the future was something easier to manage. Decluttering took on a new meaning, and I started to ask myself, "If I moved tomorrow, would I want to pack this up and find a place for it in a new home?" I reduced my wardrobe by more than half. Where I'd needed two closets for all my clothes before, now I didn't even fill one closet. Shoes, jewelry, accessories, all were trimmed down to what I needed, and when I was done I went in and decluttered some more.

Around this time I found some YouTube channels on minimalism and simplifying the home that intrigued me. Folks like Joshua Becker, Sarah at Abundantly Minimal, and Dawn from The Minimal Mom, taught me that I could not only survive with less, I could thrive with less. I learned a lot about gratitude and the trappings of excess. I was ready to make some drastic changes. Whether God moved me or kept me put, I would learn to live with less. I'd be thankful for what I had and intentional about what I brought into my house. With this new commitment, I went to work.

I slowly decluttered my kitchen, my linen closet, household cleaners, decor, even Christmas decorations. Some days were harder than others. I made regular trips to Goodwill and tried to remember them whenever I was at Target (which is one of my biggest temptations). As I reduced the inventory of my home, it felt lighter, brighter, cleaner, and more enjoyable. I started to question if God was really going to move me, or if the moving He was referring to was moving things out of my house that I didn't need so I could focus more on Him.  

There were things, however, that I couldn't change or get rid of. Regardless of how many things were in it, my house still had to be cleaned and maintained. Not only the inside of the house, but the outside needed plenty of attention. A 9,000 square foot lot may seem small to some, but in my neighborhood it's considered oversized. It would cost about $100 a month to have a lawn company come in to mow the grass, trim and cleanup, which was not in my budget. My oldest son had moved away, and my youngest son has severe allergies to grass and trees. My daughter was working and had no desire to be outside working in the yard all weekend, so it was left to me to do all the maintenance of the yard myself.

I will admit I liked doing yardwork sometimes. It's good exercise, and satisfying to see how pretty everything looks when you're done. But as time passed, it seemed like the work became harder. Picking up palm tree branches twice a week and cutting them up to put in the trash. Mowing the back and front yards twice a month during winter and every 10 days in summer. Doing all the trim around the house and the fence. Weeding the front yard. Each time I went out I'd work for anywhere between 1.5 to 3 hours. The day before my daughter's bridal shower, which we held at the house, I worked 4 hours on the backyard, front yard, driveway, entryway; I took out a dead bush from in front of the house (thankfully my neighbor saw me struggling and came to help). Every time I was done my allergies would be raging, and my body would ache for 2 days straight. It was too much. 

But it wasn't until the beginning of 2019 that I became convinced that my time at my home grew short. J was finished paying child support in June of the previous year, and my income took a hit. I was basically living paycheck to paycheck but still able to pay all my bills. Then 2019 came. My health insurance went up. Then my life insurance. Then my car insurance. Then my homeowner's insurance. Which meant my house payment also went up. I'd started at my new job in September and while the pay was a bit higher, it wasn't enough to cover all these expenses going up at the same time. God provides, of that I'm certain, and I knew He would provide now. Go time had come. Literally.  

2019 When God Closes A Door (Part 3)

Our kitchen was remodeled in 2006. We removed the builder grade cabinets that were cheap and not in the best condition, and replaced them with similar cabinets built by my then brother-in-law. My ex-husband didn't want to redo the kitchen because he thought it was a waste of money, even though the cabinet under the sink had gotten wet causing the Formica to warp. He grudgingly agreed but it would be done by his brother to save money. You know the old saying, You get what you pay for? Yeah, it's accurate.

When his brother came to ask what we wanted in the kitchen, I was surprised at how much J insisted on certain things when he spent no time in the kitchen other than to get a drink of water. I did all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the organizing. I was pretty clear on what I would like in the kitchen, and losing cabinet space was not one of the options. But he was adamant that he wanted one of the cabinets converted into a trash cabinet. I conceded, though I knew this meant I would lose both a cabinet and a drawer. I asked for glass doors on the cabinets where the dishes were kept; he insisted on glass doors on the mug cabinet as well. I got to pick the colors, and in my mind the cabinets would be wood. Unbeknownst to me, he told his brother to make laminate cabinets. In other words, we were switching cheap cabinets for cheap cabinets. The "upgrade" was Thermofoil cabinet doors. If you're not aware, Thermofoil (or RTF) is medium density fiberboard (MDF) covered in vinyl that is baked on. It's promoted as a rigid surface that doesn't scratch. My experience with them was not a good one. Not only is the surface NOT scratch resistant, the RTF began to peel after a few years. I should have been excited when the kitchen was done; I'd dreamt of redoing the kitchen for years. Instead I was disappointed and unable to protest because it was family and everyone else thought it was amazing and beautiful and to complain would be ungracious. So I decided to make the best of it. 

While I was married much of the decor were items J had brought from Nicaragua. It wasn't my taste but he lived in the house too and marriage is about compromise. Once we separated I packed up all his knick-knacks and simplified.

During the kitchen reno, we finished upgrading to all stainless steel appliances. After he left, I re-converted the trash cabinet into a regular storage cabinet and bought a stainless steel trash can from Costco. Above the cabinets, where all his chachkies had been, I put a few fake plants. I turned the mug cabinet into a spice cabinet and decluttered most of the mugs and glassware.

 

I also simplified the countertops. Other than a few necessary things I kept the decor to a minimum. A couple of vases with flowers, a bowl of fruit, some jars on the small shelves beside the cabinet, and the kitchen looked tidy and neat. 

The decluttering didn't stop in the kitchen. Throughout the house I was being ruthless. I streamlined my closet to only the clothes and shoes I actually wore. I got rid of decor I'd had for years but didn't care for anymore or felt it was excessive. I went through my DVD collection, CD collection, photographs, Christmas decor, linen closet, kitchen cabinets, bathroom cabinets, and I got rid of bags and bags of "stuff". It wasn't because I was embracing minimalism, though I have become more minimal in the past few years. No, this was a prompting of the Holy Spirit that I needed to prepare for a change. I didn't know when this change was going to happen, but I did know it was going to be big. And soon. 

2019 When God Closes A Door (Part 2)

In a previous post, I showed the dining room makeover I did in 2016-2017. I turned this room into an elegant showcase by gel staining the furniture and updating the cushions on the chairs. I'd already upgraded the lighting fixture, and now it all became cohesive.

The lighting fixture was purchased back in 2013 from Costco. The runner is from the Hearth and Hand collection at Target. The candlesticks in the first picture I've had for many years, and the rest of the table centerpiece is from Walmart. I just took a mason jar and filled it with flowers. In the second picture I put a pitcher I found on clearance at Target and added Dollar Tree flowers. I have found that fake flowers in white typically look the most realistic, though there are some colorful ones that look good too. I didn't add a rug because I didn't want to cover the wood floors.

The next room on my list was the family room. After my son R moved to Central Florida and took the recliners, I decided to get a new sectional. I had purchased one from Costco which I showed in my post on the living room makeover,  but I wanted something smaller. Unfortunately the ones at Costco were the wrong color. I'm not a fan of grey, especially dark grey. I like some grey accents but not anything that overwhelms the room. Of course I didn't want to spend thousands of dollars, either. I know I could've looked for something second hand, but I took a different route: Amazon. I had been looking at different options and going over hundreds of reviews, and I found a sectional that was simple and neutral, so I could fit it into my decor. The prices for furniture on Amazon can fluctuate from one day to the next, so I had to keep my eyes on a couple of options that I liked. Finally, one of the sectionals went down to $645, and I quickly placed my order. There were all kinds of issues with delivery, but I finally received it in September 2017. It went from the living room to the family room as I decided which sectional would go in which room, but I found it looked and fit best in the family room.

The artwork above the sectional was a clearance item I found at Kirkland's. The original price was $135; it was marked down to $23.95, but with my coupon I was able to score it for just under $20.00. I love the colors and the pier overlooking the sunset. The coffee table I've had since 2004. Originally it was all one color, but after having stained the dining room furniture I decided to stain this table top as well. It changed the look completely and made it look more elegant. The side table is part of the set that is in the living room. It didn't fit in the living room with the sectional there, so I put it in the family room where it could serve a purpose. The rug was from Walmart, but it had to be replaced. Our sweet Molly would sleep on it and the rug would get caught in her nails and snag. I picked up a nice rug at Costco for $40 that works just fine.

The television set and stand that were in the family room originally belonged to my son R, and he took them with him when he moved. So, I turned to my two favorite places to make my big ticket item purchases. I bought the television set on sale at Costco, and found the TV stand on Amazon. They were our family Christmas presents that year. I also bought the DVD cabinet on the right from Amazon, and it provided extra storage.

What I liked most about the three rooms was how well they flowed together, and I wanted this theme of casual elegance to continue. Up next: the kitchen! See ya soon!

2019 When God Closes A Door (Part 1)

My childhood was not glamorous. From the time I was born we lived in the South Bronx, aka the ghetto. I remember when buildings were going up in flames all around us; we later found out many of the fires were arson caused by landlords trying to collect insurance on properties they couldn't sell. Our apartment became rat infested, and to this day the very sight of a mouse sends me into hysterics (I'm cringing right now just thinking about it). After much waiting, praying, and hard work on my mother's part, we "upgraded" to the NYC housing projects. It was way better, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't mean it was great. The neighborhood was mediocre at best. At least there weren't any rats.

Throughout my childhood I dreamed of moving out of NY and one day owning my dream home. I knew what it would look like; I'd drawn it many times. For years I believed that home would be in the beautiful island of Puerto Rico where my parents were born and raised, but God had other plans.

In 1986, through a series of events that I may one day document on this blog, I found myself in Central Florida. My aunt and uncle had a home there, and I decided it would be a good place for a fresh start. I'd never been to Florida and knew very little about it, but being young and adventurous I was ready to give it a try. As the plane began to descend and I looked out the window at all the waterways and green areas, I quickly fell in love with what would become my new home.

I'm not going to go into every detail of my life as it started off in Florida. I arrived in Central Florida and found myself moving to South Florida a few months later. I met my future husband in South Florida, my children were born here, and in time we were able to buy my dream home. It was almost identical to the house I'd drawn years earlier, and it was in the neighborhood I'd loved ever since moving here. I was so extremely happy. It was perfect, and I was sure life would be wonderful from that moment on.

Fast forward to 2011. My marriage was falling apart. My kids were leaving for Central Florida for school. I'd believed God was sending us there as well, but that never materialized. The house I thought was going to bring me great happiness was just a hollow place filled with painful memories. I learned something during that time: things don't bring happiness. We can experience happiness anywhere, but true joy doesn't come from possessions. A house, a car, a relationship, all these are great things to have, but if I was going to find true inner fulfillment it would be in Christ alone. I was a Christian, saved by the grace of God, but still seeking happiness in temporary things. As I "walked through the valley," God began changing my perspective from one of desiring to one of gratitude. I could choose to want what I didn't have and live with envy and jealousy. I could choose to wish my life was what I thought it should have been and drown myself in bitterness. Or I could thank God for where I was and where He was taking me. I chose option #3.

I began making changes in my home. I wanted to erase the painful memories of the past. I wanted to come into my home and have it feel like home, a place I wanted to be and not one I wanted to run from. I sold furniture, painted walls, brought in things that made me smile. I would turn this into my dream home after all...

I began in the living room. For my 50th birthday I bought an electric fireplace. I'd never lived in a house with a fireplace, but I'd always thought they were beautiful and made a house feel cozy. I didn't care that I'd only use it a few days a year. I found this fireplace at Walmart of all places, for $250. I had already seen what electric fireplaces went for and I knew this was a steal. The bookcases that flank each side are also from Walmart, and I paid $60 for each. For under $400 I'd created a focal wall in my living room.

Filling the bookcases with books was no problem; between my daughter, my boys and myself we had enough to load them up and still have books left over. The wall art was a different story. Gallery walls were popular but I didn't like the busyness of them. Still, I needed something to fill up this large wall. I knew I wanted a wall clock but oh my word they're expensive! I didn't want to spend more than $50 total on that wall. I already had the picture of the peony in sepia tone that I'd gotten at Kirkland's for $20 on sale. I went in search of a wall clock that was affordable, large, and that I liked. It was hard to find anything that fit all my criteria, but I finally found it at Big Lots for $21. For the right side I bought these three shadow boxes filled with paper flowers made from music sheets. It was $25 for all three at Target. Normally I don't pay full price for anything, much less at Target, but I felt the price was good since I was getting the set of three. The wall was done, and it was exactly what I wanted.

The living room furniture I'd had for 14 years was sold. The furniture in here changed a few times after that; I put our recliners in here until my son R moved and took them with him. Ultimately I put the sectional that I'd bought for the family room in our living room, taking it from a formal room to a cozy hangout. I bought this sectional at Costco in 2015 and it has held up very well. The price was great too; it was one of two that were left in the store so they'd dropped the price to $799. I had a rebate check which further dropped the price to $650. My favorite thing about this sectional is that it has a piece that allows the sectional to be right or left facing, or can be removed so it's a smaller sectional with an armless chair. The unit in the background I found on Amazon and I fell in love with it from the moment I saw it. It has that rustic looking wood that somehow blends in with the darker woods, and it has storage on the bottom which the previous piece that was there didn't have.

The chair and ottoman were free; my daughter's best friend (and matron of honor) was getting rid of her furniture and offered it to my daughter A. She asked if I wanted it and I said sure! It's fake leather in espresso but it's comfy, and with a blanket thrown over the back it looks kind of farmhouse. While my house isn't decorated in full farmhouse decor, it does have some touches of farmhouse. The jumbo rug is from Costco and was also bought with my rebate check, so I only paid $80 for an 8'x10' soft, cushy rug. I kept the coffee table and side tables along with the lamps that we'd bought even before my son E was born. The picture over the sofa is from Kirkland's. I paid $35 for it, more than I normally pay but it was perfect for that spot. 

While I was married, this room was a pass-through. No one ever wanted to sit on the uncomfortable sofa and loveseat that were here, and with a fully functional family room it felt like wasted space. By adding new comfy furniture and the television with fireplace, it became usable space. This was the first of several transformations that I'll be documenting here. Yep, there's more to come!

2019 - New Year, New Family Member

A new year brings new promises, new expectations, new trials. 2019 was no different. It was a year filled with so much change, I won't forget it anytime soon!

My daughter A had begun dating C in September 2017, around the time Hurricane Irma hit. Their relationship blossomed. They had the same interests, values, beliefs, sense of humor...he was everything she had prayed for, and she was exactly what he had hoped for. So it was no surprise when C came to me in early February to ask for my daughter's hand in marriage. It brought me great joy to know the man my daughter had fallen in love with would be her partner for life.

The proposal was so sweet. One of their first dates had been to one of those escape rooms, where you're given clues to go from one room to the next and have to "break out" in a specified amount of time (typically one hour). Neither had done one before, so they thought it would be something fun to try. Both had enjoyed it and especially enjoyed knowing they'd experienced for the first time together. C decided he would recreate that date which had been so special to them. So he arranged with the owners of the escape room to have one of the clues be a love letter he'd written for the occasion. March 1 he picked her up and they went on their normal Friday night date. When they entered the room, the employees were taping while my daughter picked up the "clue". Behind her C was on one knee, and when she turned around he popped the question, to which she quickly responded Yes! What a joyous blessing that day was!

Now, as we all know, dating is not addressed in the Bible. That's because in biblical times parents chose their children's spouses. Sometimes this worked out well; as parents, we all want what is best for our children, and we would hopefully pick wisely for them. Of course, if the parents were more concerned with their own interests and not those of their children, this method would fail. Today, young people choose for themselves who they will marry through the process of dating/courtship. Even though the process has changed, I believe we can still learn from Scripture the best way to go about dating, courtship, engagement and marriage.

The Bible teaches the importance of marriage vows. These are not to be callously broken. It is a lifelong commitment (Genesis 2:24). God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), He hates adultery, He hates immorality. He tells Christians not to look for a marriage partner outside of the faith (2 Corinthians 6:14). He spells out the roles of husbands and wives (Ephesians 5:22-33). All these things should be considered before committing to marriage, because there is nothing worse than living miserably married. Therefore, a courtship shouldn't be rushed. I've seen that people tend to show only their best side when dating, especially during the first year of dating/courtship. Each person is on their best behavior, watching their words and actions so as not to drive the other away. But when they've dated long enough, and become comfortable around each other, that's when the little "quirks" start to appear. Sometimes they're insignificant; no big deal, easily adapted to. Other times they're red flags that shouldn't be ignored. The person you marry has to be someone you respect, so ask yourself, "Do I respect this person? Do I see myself in a lifelong partnership with this person?" If the answer is no, run, don't walk. If the answer is I don't know, stop. Be wise. Talk to someone you trust. The person you are considering may be a nice person, a good person, but not the right person for you. Take your time and make the best decision.

Once you're certain that this is the person God has led you to, the person He has chosen for you to spend your life with, then what? I know people have different opinions on this point, but my belief is that, while dating and courtship shouldn't last less than a year, engagements should be short. Why? For starters, we do not want to give the devil an opportunity to use us (Ephesians 4:27). It's easy to fall into temptation when emotions are running high. Secondly, Scripture teaches us how highly God views engagements. When Joseph found out Mary was pregnant with Jesus, the Bible tells us he was going to secretly divorce her (Matthew 1:19). Yet, they weren't married. But in God's eyes, an engagement is as serious as marriage, and should not be defiled. If you're absolutely sure this is the spouse for you, I believe the sooner you get married the better.

Now, I realize that weddings take time to organize - if it's a big wedding. However, that doesn't have to be the case. My daughter and her fiance got engaged March 1 and were married June 21, just 2 1/2 months later. They chose to have a small wedding for two reasons: first, they wanted to cash flow the wedding, meaning no credit card or any other type of debt would be incurred with their nuptials. Second, they had a budget for the wedding and the honeymoon, and they wanted to spend more on the honeymoon. I appreciated and approved of this decision. While I love weddings as much as the next person, the truth is it's only a few hours and then it's over and the real thing begins. The honeymoon, the time when life as husband and wife begins, is much more important. So while the wedding was a small event of only 50 guests, the honeymoon was a Mediterranean cruise that took them to Spain, Italy, Monaco, and several other places, and that time is precious to them.

I am so happy and so very thankful that 2019 gave me a new son. We love C to the moon and back! I can say with confidence that he's everything this mama prayed for. Ah, but the changes had only begun! There was more, much more to come.