My week has been like the weather - hectic and all over the place. We've had hot days, humid days, rainy days, stormy days...it was more like summer than spring. Then this morning, the sky was clear and blue, and there was a sweet breeze blowing. Everyone was shocked at the change! Life is kinda like the weather; it can change from one day to the next.
My days are busy, busy, busy. School in the mornings, work in the afternoons, church on Wednesdays. Meals, laundry, housecleaning, dog tending. It's a never ending cycle, but I'm getting the hang of it. I think.
This week E took his unit exam for algebra. Quadratics have been a headache for him and for me as well, because I don't remember doing them. His exam was two parts; part one was multiple choice, and part two was 5 questions broken down into 3-4 parts, which meant it was really 16 questions. He finished part one and got a 64%. That really upset me, because he did study for the test, but the questions were tricky. There were times when he would say, "it's either A or C," and invariably he'd pick the wrong one. I was stressed about the second part of the exam more than he was, because a) the second part is always harder, and b) this material will be on his semester exam and he doesn't seem comfortable with it. He did part 2 Tuesday night, and it took him 3 hours to complete it. I decided he needed more help than what I was giving him, so I got him a tutoring session at work. The tutor he got is a great teacher; he's studying finance at the local university, and is a brilliant young man. I'm so thankful that E got the session. He feels more confident now. And today, when the scores were posted and I saw my son got a 94% on part two of his test, it made me feel so much better! I really shouldn't have stressed so much. If I'd given it to God from the start I would have saved myself a lot of internal frustration. I hope I've learned this lesson.
Molly has continued to improve. As a matter of fact, she's been behaving like a puppy again, so we were very optimistic. Then I got the dreaded call from the vet this morning. Our suspicions were confirmed: it is cancer. The tumor that was removed was a stage 2 mass cell tumor, and this type of tumor will continue to spread. The vet told me he would refer me to an oncologist, and I thanked him but explained that we'd already discussed it and decided we would not put our beloved dog through chemotherapy. I just feel it's cruel to make an animal suffer through that horrible treatment, and honestly, each time I've heard of pets that have been put through chemo, it's always been the same outcome. They end up dying of cancer anyway. I simply cannot do that to Molly. The doctor said she might do fine for another two years, or she might last six months. Either way, we will do whatever it takes to keep her comfortable and happy, and when the time comes, we will say goodbye and be thankful to God for the time He allowed us to have her. She has been a joy for us; I don't regret taking her in and caring for her. She has been the best dog I've ever met, the most loving, affectionate, sweet dog in the world. There is a dreary cloud over us today, but the silver lining around it is the reminder of all good times we've had. She's been a rare treasure, and we are oh so thankful for her.
Our women's bible study group this morning was a real thought provoking study. We were challenged to study the bible, not to gain more knowledge, but to know God better. A challenge to read scripture, not for what I can get out of it or what it can do for me, but to see God in its pages and understand my Father in a more intimate way. I hadn't thought about it, but how many times don't I pick up the bible to look for guidance for me, to seek answers for me, to feed me spiritually. Me, me, me. What I should be asking God is, "What do You want me to learn about You today?" Because in knowing Him better, I will desire more of Him. And as I desire more of Him, I will want to be more like Him. And when I am more like Him, I will have all the answers to those questions that I usually go to scripture for. It was such an eye-opener.
That has been my roller coaster week. Ups and downs, spinning this way and that. The ups have been exhilarating, the downs have made my stomach ill. There is so much change in our lives, but I've learned that I'm tallest when I'm on my knees. God has gotten me through rougher times than this; He will see me through again. Have a good night, y'all. God bless.
The Wonder of Christmas
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