Becoming a Good Steward (this post is long!)

One of the many lessons I’m learning during this transition to stay at home-dom, is what it means to be a good steward. Especially in these harsh economic times, living on one salary can be a daunting task if we aren’t careful. Yet it can be done, and with good results, if we let ourselves be guided by the One who knows our needs best.

I’ve always considered myself to be frugal (my kids would say cheap, but I refuse to use such a demeaning expression in regards to myself). Yet looking at my spending habits I realize I was falling into the trap that so many Americans find themselves in now: spending without a plan, and falling into unnecessary debt. Now that I’ve had to reevaluate my role as homemaker and CFO of my household, the Lord has shown me what I was doing wrong and how I can fix it. Here are some of the ways I’ve learned to be a good steward of the gifts God has given my family:

I. Giving
I’ve always considered it to be important to give to my local church. My husband, however, sees things differently. My hubby is Catholic, though not a regular church attendee. When he does go, he sees no reason to put more than the obligatory dollar in the collection plate. As far as he’s concerned, churches have plenty of money and no need for additional funding. I guess for a while I thought the same; give a church too much money and they’ll take advantage and misspend. I realize now that giving is not about the recipient, it’s about the giver. It’s about what is in my heart, whether I accept the fact that everything I have comes from God and He rightly deserves that I give back from what has generously been given me. After telling His disciples not to worry about what to eat or drink, Jesus said to “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33). When we seek first the kingdom, we give back what we’ve received because it brings us joy. Of course, when money is tight, it’s easy to say, “I don’t have enough to pay my bills; how can I give to the church? God wouldn’t want me to get into debt, right?” But when we do this, we’re actually telling God we don’t trust Him with our finances. Malachi 3:10 gives us this promise: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” Isn’t it worth it to trust God and be blessed over and above what we expect? I think it is. So I’ve tried my best to step up to the plate and be more regular in my giving. How has this affected us? My hubby asked me the other day, “Are you sure you’re paying all the bills?” I told him, “Of course.” “Then why,” he asked, “is there so much money in our checking account?” I think we know why :D .

II. Want Vs. Need
This is one that I’ve really had to work hard on. I was getting into the habit of buying because I saw something I liked, and justified it with, “I work hard, I deserve to get myself this,” or “What good is having the money if you can’t spend it?” Well, guess what. I don’t have a whole bunch of dispensable income anymore. So I’ve had to start asking myself, “Do I need it, or do I just want it?” Take Christmas decorations, for example. I used to host House of Lloyd’s Christmas Around the World parties (it was a catalog party plan, similar to Tupperware, but all the items were Christmas decorations). When they went out of business I sold for Kingdom Treasures. Part of my earnings included product that I could keep, resell, or give as gifts. My attic is full to the brim with decorations. It takes me 2 -3 full days to get everything down and set up in the house. I have not one, not two, but three Christmas villages. Two are in the living room and one in the dining room. Santa would feel right at home in my mini North Pole replica. Why, then, was I buying more stuff each year? I certainly didn’t need it. Sure, I would justify my purchases with the excuse that I didn’t have Christmas as a child (we were raised in the Jehovah’s Witness faith) so I had to make up for lost time. But as I walked through Target and saw the absolutely beautiful musical village pieces, drooling over the different stuffed animals and eyeing the tree ornaments, I felt the Lord ask me, “Do you need it, or do you just want it?” And the truth of the matter is, there is no legitimate excuse for me to fill my home with more decorations. God has given me enough to fill 2 houses, yet none of it reflects what Christmas is really about. I was getting so wrapped up in the getting that I was not focused on the real reason for Christmas: celebrating the birth of the Savior. That’s a big lesson to be learned. I am rethinking how Christmas will be celebrated in our home this year, so that the focus is on Christ, as it should be.

III. Shopping wisely
Food is a necessity. No one will argue that. So while my hubby would remind me to “only buy what we need,” this was another area where I was going overboard. Let me loose in Wal-Mart and watch the damage I can do! Each week I would cringe as I saw how much I was spending at the grocery store, but again I would justify my purchases. “It was on sale,” was one of my favorite lines. However, is it a good buy if you don’t really need it? Once again, the Lord was showing me that I needed to exercise self control in the spending department. Now, I’m a bookkeeper. It’s what I studied in school, and has always been linked to the jobs I’ve had, the last one as purchasing agent working directly with accounts payable. I’ve always had a spending budget. Problem is, I wasn’t really following it. It was more like a guideline, not a rule. When I sat down and began evaluating more closely what my spending was compared to my budget, I realized some changes needed to be made. This was something I definitely needed to turn over to the Lord. He started guiding me towards websites of women who are doing this everyday, with less money and great success. I took notes of what these women were doing: they were planning ahead. That meant to me, preparing a realistic budget and sticking to it no matter what. This is our income, and this is what we can spend. No going around it. The toughest place was in the grocery store. How was I going to maintain healthy spending habits while still providing my family with healthy meals? Truth be told, I was spending way too much on not so healthy junk food. Chips, cookies, drinks, things that cost a lot but aren’t very nutritious. To combat this, I started a meal plan. I looked for cost effective meals that would be nutritious and delicious, and snacks that I could prepare myself that my family could enjoy and I could feel good about giving them. Each week I prepare a menu for the following week. It’s something that I have to think about so that the meals aren’t boring or too repetitious. As for snacks, I look for things that are healthy and can be easily made at home, like oatmeal coconut chocolate chip cookies. Everyone loves them, they’re inexpensive to make and a much better alternative than some of the greasy stuff I was buying at my kid’s request. They want cake? I’ll bake one. Something different for dessert? How about Jell-O? I found that it wasn’t difficult at all to make these things for my family; instead, it was fun to make and watch them enjoy. In the process, my husband’s cholesterol and triglyceride levels have gone down, praise God. And each month, I’ve been able to stay under budget. Thank you once again Lord. This lesson was painful, but beneficial.

IV. Ask for discounts
Here is where pride comes in. There are people who don’t think twice about asking for a discount in a store or service department. I am mortified to ask for one. I’m afraid of getting a nasty look, perhaps subpar service because I ask for a better price. I wonder what people will think of me for asking for what I consider a “special favor”. In the end, I just don’t want anyone to know that money is tight and I have to stick to my budget. Wouldn’t that be humiliating, especially when I used to spend money like it was an easily replenishable resource? This was yet another teaching I was receiving from my Father. I can’t let my pride get in the way of what my family can afford. So this week, after not having had a haircut in 6 months, I called my hairdresser. She not only is excellent at her craft, she loves the Lord and has been in one of my small groups. I love her dearly, and telling her that I have a limited budget was humbling to say the least. I felt like I was cheating her out of her income, which she deserves for the service she offers, but I had to be honest and ask what she would do for me that would be within my budget. When she told me, I wanted to cry. She’d be willing to charge me half what I normally pay. When I asked, “Really, are you sure?”, her answer blew me away: “Of course. We take care of our friends.” Not only was God blessing me with a new haircut that I desperately need, at a price I can afford, but He also was letting me know that I’m loved (John 13:35). I think this was the most heartwarming lesson of all.

I’m a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, good or bad (Romans 8:28). But sometimes God needs to remind us just how blessed we really are. By following Jesus and being a good steward of all that He’s given me, I’ve seen how great the Father’s love for me is. And let me tell you, He loves me a WHOLE lot.