The Challenges of Parenthood

My youngest son was quite a surprise. Our 2 older children were 12 and 9 when I found out I was expecting. It came as a shock, especially since we were trying not to have any more children. Although I love children as does my husband, another c-section was not something I looked forward to. But this child has been a blessing from day one. He's 9 years old now, and he is a joy to be around. He's funny, cheerful, compassionate, and loving. He always wants to help. He makes friends easily and talks to just about anyone (unlike Mom who quite the introvert). He's been an easy child to raise except in one aspect: school.

Now understand, my son E is an intelligent little boy. He's articulate, curious, willing to learn. His math skills are strong. But when it came to reading, it seemed that E just could not progress. I couldn't understand it, either. My 2 older kids are avid readers, and so am I. He loved having any of us read to him, would follow us around with a book if we didn't. And he learned his alphabet and sounds at what appeared to be a normal pace for a 5 year old. So I couldn't understand why reading was such a chore. His first grade teachers would give the kids a list of 25 words per quarter that they needed to learn to read on sight. Simple words like the, and, it, as, if, and then longer words like this and that. He struggled to learn these words, and although we went over them regularly it was as if he would just forget. His first grade problems I justified with, "He's just getting started, once he gets it he'll catch up." But second grade proved to be more challenging. His handwriting was atrocious, though his older brother & sister had had similar problems and had worked them out. Still, there were times he was getting failing grades simply because the teacher could not read his work. I met with his teachers by the third quarter when his SAT scores came in. He was in the 76 percentile for math, which was acceptable, but only in the 26 percentile in reading. I asked if he might have some sort of learning disability. One of his teachers said she thought his problem was that he was easily distracted, and I might want to discuss this with his doctor. I was totally against the idea of medicating my son for ADHD because I knew for sure he wasn't hyperactive, and while he may not pay attention to things that bored him, he was very intent on those things that interested him. I felt we just needed to help him get focused. He started working once a week with a tutor, and I bought him some workbooks to study during summer vacation. By the time he started the third grade his reading grade was a B.

I met with his teachers before the end of the first marking period in October. His reading grade had already slipped to a D average. I had watched him carefully and could see signs that indicated he might be dyslexic. I discussed this with his teacher, pointing out that he had b-d confusion, and that he had trouble reading and remembering what he'd read. His teacher's response was, "That's very typical in children his age. We just need him to practice more at home." Foolishly I let the teacher convince me that if we got him to read more he would progress. The amount of frustration we both experienced was immeasurable. There were times I just had to walk away and ask my older son to help E with his homework because I felt I was going nowhere fast. Sitting with him to read a simple first grade book would take an hour or more, never mind the chapter books he was supposed to be reading. I would push him to try harder, and I could see that he was, but instead of progressing it was like we'd hit a brick wall. I began mentioning to my daughter that I really believed he might be dyslexic, and my fear that he wouldn't pass the FCAT. FCAT is the Florida Comprehensive Apptitude Test which students take in the third grade. A failing grade on the FCAT means he won't pass to the fourth grade. My daughter had just started a biology class and was studying learning disorders. I went down the list of things I'd noticed in E, and she told me, "Mom, he is a textbook case. He's dyslexic. You need to talk to the teacher about this." Just as she and I were discussing this, E's teacher called to have a parent/teacher conference. She began to show me his work. Spelling: words that they go over the entire week, my son cannot spell. Words like "laundering", he spells "luondering". Letters get left out or are in jumbled order. This is typical of dyslexic children. His handwriting continues to be an issue. I told her point blank, "When can my son be tested for a learning disability? Because what you show me are classic signs of dyslexia." His math teacher then jumped in and said, "Oh, but his math score has gone down also." Of course, upon questioning her, she admitted the math they were doing was all reading, not numbers, so of course his score was suffering. Yet once again the teachers tried to make it seem as though he just needs more focus, more practice, more reading time. I finally was able to convince his teacher to seek testing for him, only to have her tell me it won't be done this year due to a backlog of children that need all types of testing. As you can imagine, this did not go well with me.

I went online and found this website dedicated to dyslexia. As I read all the symptoms associated with dyslexia, I just sobbed. My son has an overwhelming amount of symptoms that apparently his teacher cannot see because in a classroom of 40 children many times these things get lost. (I told his teacher this, and I don't think she took it well. I wasn't being rude, just honest). So now I'm on a mission. I've called the school counselor and am pushing for testing. He called a few minutes ago and said he'd spoken to E's teachers who don't believe E needs to be tested. I made it clear that I strongly disagree with them, and that if I need to get outside testing will the county reimburse me? You see, I've gotten a price from a psychologist, and testing costs $1,200. I will pay it if I have to, but as I'm not currently working it would be a hardship for us. It's the reason I'm pressuring the school to do the testing instead. I'm extremely upset at his teachers, who are NOT psychologists yet think my child is perfectly fine despite their own records which prove otherwise. If you find it in your heart to include us in your prayers I will be forever grateful. I know God has a plan for my son, and I also know He gave me this precious little boy so that I can raise him, train him up, and do the very best I can for him. I'm not going to let God down. I will do whatever it takes to get my son the help he needs so he can fulfill God's purpose for his life.