Being Mom

This past Sunday being Mother's Day reminded me of something - being a mom is hard!! Yes it's worthwhile, yes it's rewarding, but it isn't easy. There's no two children who are alike, so what works with one child may fail miserably with another. Still, there are a few points I've learned along the way that are sure to work with any and all children. Mind you, I'm not saying I have this parenting thing all figured out; I don't. I'm still in the learning stages after 3 children, the oldest who is 22 years old. But as a mom who's tried lots of different techniques, I can tell you these three are key to raising godly children:

1) Don't just talk the talk; walk the walk.

You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool your kids. Yes, you can put on a pious face at church and say all the right things to all the right people. You can pretend to be a loving, unselfish mom at school, at the workplace, at the grocery store. But when you get home, you are who you are. And your kids know it. If you're honest and genuine no matter where you are, your children will respect you for it and trust you. If you're one person at church and a totally different person at home, they will think hypocrisy is normal and acceptable. They'll think everyone is like that, even the God you worship, and they will either be turned off by you and not respect you, or they'll end up just like you, either of which is not what any parent wants. Your children don't expect you to be perfect; they do want and expect you to be real. Our faith needs to be authentic. Only then will our children believe that our God is authentic.

2) Be a Bible Thumper to your kids.

Some parents are rolling their eyes at this, because they know their teenage kids will roll their eyes. Don't fret. All teenagers roll their eyes (we did, didn't we?). We think eye rolling means, "oh no, not again." In actuality, it means "I don't have an answer so I'll roll my eyes and hope my parents will leave me alone." Teenagers are the most opinionated human beings on earth. If they have something to say, they'll say it. If all they do is roll their eyes, it means they don't have an answer, and figure the eye rolling will make you stop. Don't stop! Make the Scriptures relevant to their lives.

More and more people are walking away from the church, not because they don't believe in God, but because they don't think what's being taught in church is relevant to this century. We need to show them that it is. Proverbs is very good for this. Take our economic times, for instance. So many people have gotten into financial trouble because they owe more than they earn. That's because banks and credit card companies made it so easy to get everything we wanted right away. Just charge it and pay later (with interest, of course). Now these same people are losing their homes and are in financial distress. What can we teach our children about this? How about Proverbs 13:11 - "Wealth hastily gotten will dwindle, but those who gather little by little will increase it." See how that's sound advise? The Bible is chock full of great lessons for our lives, but our kids won't know that unless we teach them. Have devotions with them each day. Explain what lessons God teaches us in our circumstances. Just remember point #1 - once you show it to them, you've got to live it, too.

3) Find them a mentor.

So many parents want to be their kid's friends so badly, they forget their original calling: to be parents. Our children will have many friends in their lifetimes; they'll only have one mom and dad. We're the disciplinarians, the tough-love givers. But we don't have to be the only ones teaching our children. Titus 2:3-4 exhorts the older women to encourage younger women. This doesn't have to be just to married women. When my daughter was just 15 years old, our youth pastor's wife began giving my daughter godly advise through a young girl's small group. I noticed huge spiritual growth in my little girl during that time. A couple of other young women also took her under their wings. Women who were in their early 20's, had gone to college but never stopped seeking the Lord, and were now strong young women of faith who were setting an excellent example of leadership to many of the teens and preteens in our church. I credit these young women the Lord put in my daughter's path for helping her get her priorities straight, to keep God first in her life and to trust Him for the decisions she's making now for her future. Never underestimate the power of a godly young woman.

In the end, all parents want is the best for their children, and all Christian parents want if for their children to walk with the Lord. Their lives will be a reflection of ours, and of the people around them. So, let's be the people we want our children to be. After all, it's a win-win situation for everyone.