When J and I divorced I was able to keep the house that had been my dream home for 16 years. He had purchased a house for himself, so he was able to keep his property and I got to keep the family home (though he was not happy about that). My lawyer was happy for me, but he warned me that I'd have to get a full-time job to be able to pay all the expenses of the house once child support ended. What came out of my mouth was unexpected, even to me: I told him if it got to be too heavy a burden, I would sell it. He looked at me a bit incredulously and stated that purchasing a new home would be just as expensive unless I downsized considerably. I left it at that and said no more.
At the time we were 4 people living in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home complete with formal and informal living spaces and a large backyard. It was comfortable, it was familiar, and it was right for us. But as I mentioned before, children grow up and start lives of their own. It's the natural progression of life. In 2017, when my son announced he was moving to Central Florida, I felt in my heart that the home I'd now lived in for 17 years wouldn't be my home for much longer, and I needed to prepare. I didn't know what God intended for me. I wasn't even 100% sure that I would be leaving my house. But I decided I could prepare for the possibility of a move in a way that, if it didn't happen, it would still benefit me and my family. And so the journey towards simplifying my home began.
It started in my closet. I had not one but two walk-in closets and there were clothes in both, clothes that didn't get worn for one reason or another: they didn't fit anymore; they weren't the most comfortable; I didn't particularly like them but I didn't want to get rid of them. I had decluttered some things before, but I realized I was asking myself the wrong questions. "Will I ever need this in the future?" was one question that made me keep a lot of "what ifs" in my wardrobe. I needed a mind shift. As I prayed and asked God for guidance, He showed me that a time was coming when my beloved home would be too big for me, too much space, too much work, too much of a financial burden. What I would need for the future was something easier to manage. Decluttering took on a new meaning, and I started to ask myself, "If I moved tomorrow, would I want to pack this up and find a place for it in a new home?" I reduced my wardrobe by more than half. Where I'd needed two closets for all my clothes before, now I didn't even fill one closet. Shoes, jewelry, accessories, all were trimmed down to what I needed, and when I was done I went in and decluttered some more.
Around this time I found some YouTube channels on minimalism and simplifying the home that intrigued me. Folks like Joshua Becker, Sarah at Abundantly Minimal, and Dawn from The Minimal Mom, taught me that I could not only survive with less, I could thrive with less. I learned a lot about gratitude and the trappings of excess. I was ready to make some drastic changes. Whether God moved me or kept me put, I would learn to live with less. I'd be thankful for what I had and intentional about what I brought into my house. With this new commitment, I went to work.
I slowly decluttered my kitchen, my linen closet, household cleaners, decor, even Christmas decorations. Some days were harder than others. I made regular trips to Goodwill and tried to remember them whenever I was at Target (which is one of my biggest temptations). As I reduced the inventory of my home, it felt lighter, brighter, cleaner, and more enjoyable. I started to question if God was really going to move me, or if the moving He was referring to was moving things out of my house that I didn't need so I could focus more on Him.
There were things, however, that I couldn't change or get rid of. Regardless of how many things were in it, my house still had to be cleaned and maintained. Not only the inside of the house, but the outside needed plenty of attention. A 9,000 square foot lot may seem small to some, but in my neighborhood it's considered oversized. It would cost about $100 a month to have a lawn company come in to mow the grass, trim and cleanup, which was not in my budget. My oldest son had moved away, and my youngest son has severe allergies to grass and trees. My daughter was working and had no desire to be outside working in the yard all weekend, so it was left to me to do all the maintenance of the yard myself.
I will admit I liked doing yardwork sometimes. It's good exercise, and satisfying to see how pretty everything looks when you're done. But as time passed, it seemed like the work became harder. Picking up palm tree branches twice a week and cutting them up to put in the trash. Mowing the back and front yards twice a month during winter and every 10 days in summer. Doing all the trim around the house and the fence. Weeding the front yard. Each time I went out I'd work for anywhere between 1.5 to 3 hours. The day before my daughter's bridal shower, which we held at the house, I worked 4 hours on the backyard, front yard, driveway, entryway; I took out a dead bush from in front of the house (thankfully my neighbor saw me struggling and came to help). Every time I was done my allergies would be raging, and my body would ache for 2 days straight. It was too much.
But it wasn't until the beginning of 2019 that I became convinced that my time at my home grew short. J was finished paying child support in June of the previous year, and my income took a hit. I was basically living paycheck to paycheck but still able to pay all my bills. Then 2019 came. My health insurance went up. Then my life insurance. Then my car insurance. Then my homeowner's insurance. Which meant my house payment also went up. I'd started at my new job in September and while the pay was a bit higher, it wasn't enough to cover all these expenses going up at the same time. God provides, of that I'm certain, and I knew He would provide now. Go time had come. Literally.
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