I named my blog Accepting Change for a reason. I don't like change. There's something about things staying the same, in the familiar, even when those things aren't the best. There's a saying in Spanish, Mejor es malo conocido que bueno por conocer. Translation: Better an evil I know than something good I don't. I grew up with this mentality and it's been a difficult one to break. I guess that's why God brings me to these places of change. It teaches me to trust the unknown to Him.
I'm not gonna lie, there have been some sad moments, some anxious moments, some boring moments... Sadness because I was so excited whenever we first moved into our little coach house, happy as we started to get acclimated to our new environment, overjoyed at being in such a nice place and so close to my daughter, only to have everything fall to pieces through no fault of my own. I read the nine page police report the officer gave me a week before we moved out. It was then I realized my neighbor had called the police on me within a few days of us moving in. My son-in-law's parents had a media cabinet of mine that hadn't fit into the Pod container, and they were dropping it off. Unbeknownst to us, they parked the neighbor's driveway. Rather than knock on our door and ask that we move the car, he called the police! I could not believe it. The police never came because my son-in-law noticed where his parents had parked and he told them to move the car right away. He noticed the man on the phone but nothing was said. From that moment this neighbor decided he didn't like me, and his dislike turned to hate. All because of a meaningless mistake.
I didn't think about anxiety whenever I left my house. I figured, once I'm gone everything will go back to normal. Then I heard my daughter's neighbors. My daughter and son-in-law live in a villa that is attached to another villa on one side. Normally it's very quiet; the folks next door leave for work and there isn't a sound from them the entire day. Even at night they're fairly quiet, but I can hear the television set in the room adjacent to mine. A few nights ago they were in the bedroom watching a TV show that was obviously very funny because I could hear laughter. It was after 10:00 pm and I was in bed. Truth be told, it wasn't that loud. Under normal circumstances I could have easily fallen asleep. Instead, I was wide awake till after midnight because every sound seemed louder than it actually was. It was clear to me that the damage done by my neighbor's harassment is still fresh in my mind.
Then there's the boredom aspect. This is my daughter's house. She's in charge. I hate sitting around and not doing anything, so I started cleaning up for her. She was not too happy. I think she took my helping as criticism of her cleaning abilities. That, of course, was never my intention. She takes very good care of her home, and my only desire was to give her a hand to show my gratitude for them taking us in. My son-in-law, bless his heart, loves that I clean up so he doesn't have to, LOL. But my daughter made it clear that she wanted me to stop. I cried at the thought that I'm becoming a burden to my kids. My daughter came over the next day and said she understood that I'm bored, so she set some parameters. It allows me to help but only in certain areas. It's better than nothing. This week my daughter and son-in-law are at Disney, since it's spring break. I get to stay home with my grand-dog taking care of him and the house. I dream of all the things I want to do in my new home, knowing it will be at least a month before we're there.
What do I do in the meantime? I pray for those around me. I pray for my kids, my friends, the sellers of what will be my new home, the buyer of my previous home, even my neighbor. I make lists (because I love lists) and I make sure I've taken care of all the little details of moving, like canceling services I'm not using. The sellers are taking their refrigerator and their washer and dryer, so I've been looking at new appliances. I'll more than likely have to purchase them before I move, since a lot of items are on backorder. I will also need a garage door opener because they never put one in. Then there's the outdoor stuff that I got rid of whenever I moved out of my house: lawn mower, weed eater, pressure washer, those sorts of things. I'm also considering whether or not I'm going to paint. The walls throughout the entire house are gray. My son loves it; I'm not a fan. Not that there's anything wrong with gray, but I like warm colors. All my furniture and decor looks best in creamy whites and beiges, not grays. I'll see how everything looks once it's in the house, then I'll decide. I've painted many times before, so it's not something I shy away from. On the contrary, I love me a project - it keeps me busy, and I need the exercise!
Last Thursday I noticed schools were letting out early. Whenever I looked at the school calendar, I saw that spring break was starting the next day. That was just five days after I closed on the sale of my home. I realized that God had planned it so I would be gone before spring break started, and I praised Him because I knew if I'd been in the house while school was out, the neighbor would be hounding me daily. It made the waiting a whole lot easier.
Waiting is hard, y'all. I can sit here and dwell on the waiting, or I can find peace in being thankful. I choose gratitude.
No comments:
Post a Comment