As a child, I attended a church which had no separate area for children. Kids were expected to sit with their parents during the service, which lasted 2+ hours. Many people grew up in churches like these, and still consider this the best way. "Children should be with their parents at all times," they say. Let me give my perspective on this.
I plainly remember sitting in church for what seemed to me to the the BORINGEST 2 hours that could possibly exist. Most of the time I spent getting smacked upside the head because I was turned around looking at what other little kids were doing and giggling in the process. Other times I was just being annoying, not because I wanted to be but because after awhile I was tired of sitting there listening to some guy talk about stuff that I didn't understand, and stuff I didn't need to be listening to; yes, all Scripture is God-breathed but let's be honest, there are certain parts of the Bible that are not for children under the age of 12 (Leviticus, for example). I got nothing out of it other than a dread for having to go again, and the hope that maybe I'd be sick or something and couldn't go. It wasn't until I was 13 or so that I actually started listening and paying attention to some of the service.
As a mom I took my children to a Catholic church which also had no separate service for children. My kids loved it as much as I had :P. They dragged their feet and hoped it would be over soon. Even when we started going to an English speaking service (I thought maybe they didn't like the Spanish version) they understood it a little better but still absorbed nothing of what was being taught. I know; I'd ask them questions and get the "I just landed my spaceship and don't understand your earthly language" look.
When I accepted Christ I purposely sought a church that would have teachings that were appealing to my kids. One of my daughter's schoolmates recommended the church we attend now. I was a little surprised (and admittedly apprehensive) when I was told small children weren't allowed in the sanctuary. My son was then 4 years old; the older kids were 14 and 17 and could come to the adult service. I went ahead and left him in children's ministry, all the while worried whether he was scared, getting beat up, crying, etc. After the service I ran to pick him up and found him all smiles. He liked being with the other kids, and they were all safe and well taken care of. I felt much relieved.
As the weeks and months went by, I was amazed at how much my son was learning. It was simple stuff really, but since I was still learning myself I didn't know yet how to teach my kids. Children's ministry gave me direction as to what my children were capable of learning. At age 5 I was surprised and thrilled by a conversation I heard my son and his cousin having in the backseat of the car. My nephew JC said something (don't remember what it was) and my son E told him, "You shouldn't say that JC, Jesus doesn't like that." My nephew, being 2 years older and feeling offended that his younger cousin would reprimand him so, said to E, "What do you know about Jesus? You don't even know where He is." To which my son answered, "Of course I know where He is. He lives in my heart." I got tears in my eyes when I realized my son had asked Jesus to be Lord of his young life.
My son is now 9 years old and has a tremendous faith in Jesus. As I saw the importance of children's ministry in his life, I felt the Lord leading me to serve in this ministry, and for the past 4 years I've been one of the lead teachers for elementary school students in our church. I still marvel at how much these young children want to learn about Jesus and how eager they are to participate in activities and memorize Scripture. They leave church filled with teachings instead of bored and restless.
Now, there's one thing that must be made perfectly clear: children's ministry is NOT a replacement for parent/child Bible study. Just as church should not be the only place we read the Word, so it should never be the only place our children hear the Word. It is a parent's responsibility to teach children about the Lord at all times. "Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise." (Deuteronomy 6:6,7). What I believe children's ministry does is instill a love of meeting together in our children, rather than a wish of church being "done already". If they have a sense of belonging, if they find friends in their class, if they learn things they understand because it's taught at their level, they will want to come back and learn more. And isn't that what every parent wants?
December . . .
2 weeks ago
4 comments:
I hesitate commenting on this because everyone has their own views. I used to be totaly against little kids having to sit through services and was upset when I started going to a church where they were required to be in the service by 4 years old.
I now am a member of a church where we have a Sunday morning nursery and that's it. Almost every single parent keeps their children in the service with them no matter what the age. If the child gets restless, they have the option of taking them to the nursery and sitting with them theirselves, or calming the child down and returning to the service. My youngest, as you know, just turned two, and she sits through the services wonderfully. (most days)I truly see the value now of having them with you. It teaches them to worship the Lord as a family. Family is so important and completely underestimated these days. We have older children, teens even who still sit with their families durring the services to worship together. Even if they don't understand what is being said (although they pick up more than one would think) they are learning how to worship.
We have Sunday school for the children first, then they sit in the morning service, night service and Wednesday night service. Our children know that if they behave well, they will get to play with all their friends in the field next to the church afterward. Every parents sticks around for a while to let the kids play and to socialize themselves. Our church is very special and is the first one I've ever seen like it.
I believe each church and each families needs are different and I'm glad yours is working so well for E. I'm not against youth ministries at all...I just know that many churches get too caught up in "activities" and forget about true worship and what pleases the Lord. It doesn't sound like your church is that way, but our friends moved to Arkansas and joined a church that was too "activity" related and took away the family worship. She had no idea what was going on in the other childrens ministry buildings. Their son is now 17 1/2, doesn't believe he ever got saved, and doesn't even want to go to church period anymore. He thinks she ruined his life by homeschooling him for several years when he was younger, and her heart is just broken. She has two other children who she prays will not follow his path. I think childrens ministries are good if they are lead the right way, centered around Christ, and Christ alone, have enough teachers per students, and don't take away from family worship on Sunday and Wednesday nights.
What a long post...sorry. I just feel so strongly about this issue after what has happend, and I am so in love with our church and what they stand for and how they run things. I do pray your church is as good to you and your family as ours is to us. I know your daughter is doing wonderfully on her own, and I am so proud of her for her love of the Lord!
Just a follow-up, you can reject both these comments and not publish them...I don't want my comment to seem like a negative to your post. My feelings were just still so strong after just learning about my friends trouble when we stayed with them on the way back home from Texas. Sorry.
I don't mind differing views as long as they are spoken in love. Our church has youth ministries on Wednesdays, but the teens sit with their parents on Sundays. Children's ministry is only till 5th grade and then the children go to the main service.
I think family church services work for alot of people, and that's great. For me, it wasn't a pleasant experience and I would have preferred something geared to my age group. I believe parents need to get involved in children's ministries if their kids are going to be there, to know what is being taught and whether it's in line with what they as parents are teaching the children. This is why I'm glad to be teaching. I see the curriculum and am in touch with what my son learns.
I have the opposite problem with my oldest son; ever since he was young he was with me in church service, and now he doesn't attend church at all. He says he believes in God but not religion. As a child he had interest in learning but unfortunately I wasn't being the teacher he needed, and the church wasn't either. He went to catechism classes while we were in the Catholic church; they taught him alot of rituals but didn't provide answers to his questions. This left him feeling empty. Even when we started going to our current church, he liked the services but was already biased as far as religion go. It's very hard to see a young man who has a good heart but hasn't given it over to Christ yet. He is in my prayers constantly, and I have faith the Lord is not done with him. I'm thankful my daughter's experience was different; she attended church but also became active in the youth group, and E has many questions but also gets answers, which R lacked. I guess it shows each child and each family is different, and we need to be alert and doing everything possible to keep our childen on the right track with God.
My dad and his brothers and sisters were all raised in the Catholic church. Out of 5, all but one of them left the church as soon as they were 18. Fortunately, 3 joined Christ based churches when they were adults. My dad wasn't saved until he was 40. He said he believed in God, but not the junk they were teaching in the Catholic church. He almost died of a colon rupture and a local Baptist minister visited him in the hospital. My dad said, I just want the truth...I have so many questions and I just want the truth. The rest is history. He's the reason I started going to church when I was 17. I figured if he could change that drastically, that late in life, I wanted to know what caused it.
It's such as shame that the Catholic church has to ruin so many people on "religion" altogether. I do know some people who are catholic who I do believe are truly saved, but they are few. I pray your son will find Jesus and a renewed relationship with God just as my father and some of his family did. With your faithfulness and testimony, and being able to see the lives of his siblings, I'm sure he will!
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