2019 When God Closes A Door (Part 1)

My childhood was not glamorous. From the time I was born we lived in the South Bronx, aka the ghetto. I remember when buildings were going up in flames all around us; we later found out many of the fires were arson caused by landlords trying to collect insurance on properties they couldn't sell. Our apartment became rat infested, and to this day the very sight of a mouse sends me into hysterics (I'm cringing right now just thinking about it). After much waiting, praying, and hard work on my mother's part, we "upgraded" to the NYC housing projects. It was way better, don't get me wrong, but that doesn't mean it was great. The neighborhood was mediocre at best. At least there weren't any rats.

Throughout my childhood I dreamed of moving out of NY and one day owning my dream home. I knew what it would look like; I'd drawn it many times. For years I believed that home would be in the beautiful island of Puerto Rico where my parents were born and raised, but God had other plans.

In 1986, through a series of events that I may one day document on this blog, I found myself in Central Florida. My aunt and uncle had a home there, and I decided it would be a good place for a fresh start. I'd never been to Florida and knew very little about it, but being young and adventurous I was ready to give it a try. As the plane began to descend and I looked out the window at all the waterways and green areas, I quickly fell in love with what would become my new home.

I'm not going to go into every detail of my life as it started off in Florida. I arrived in Central Florida and found myself moving to South Florida a few months later. I met my future husband in South Florida, my children were born here, and in time we were able to buy my dream home. It was almost identical to the house I'd drawn years earlier, and it was in the neighborhood I'd loved ever since moving here. I was so extremely happy. It was perfect, and I was sure life would be wonderful from that moment on.

Fast forward to 2011. My marriage was falling apart. My kids were leaving for Central Florida for school. I'd believed God was sending us there as well, but that never materialized. The house I thought was going to bring me great happiness was just a hollow place filled with painful memories. I learned something during that time: things don't bring happiness. We can experience happiness anywhere, but true joy doesn't come from possessions. A house, a car, a relationship, all these are great things to have, but if I was going to find true inner fulfillment it would be in Christ alone. I was a Christian, saved by the grace of God, but still seeking happiness in temporary things. As I "walked through the valley," God began changing my perspective from one of desiring to one of gratitude. I could choose to want what I didn't have and live with envy and jealousy. I could choose to wish my life was what I thought it should have been and drown myself in bitterness. Or I could thank God for where I was and where He was taking me. I chose option #3.

I began making changes in my home. I wanted to erase the painful memories of the past. I wanted to come into my home and have it feel like home, a place I wanted to be and not one I wanted to run from. I sold furniture, painted walls, brought in things that made me smile. I would turn this into my dream home after all...

I began in the living room. For my 50th birthday I bought an electric fireplace. I'd never lived in a house with a fireplace, but I'd always thought they were beautiful and made a house feel cozy. I didn't care that I'd only use it a few days a year. I found this fireplace at Walmart of all places, for $250. I had already seen what electric fireplaces went for and I knew this was a steal. The bookcases that flank each side are also from Walmart, and I paid $60 for each. For under $400 I'd created a focal wall in my living room.

Filling the bookcases with books was no problem; between my daughter, my boys and myself we had enough to load them up and still have books left over. The wall art was a different story. Gallery walls were popular but I didn't like the busyness of them. Still, I needed something to fill up this large wall. I knew I wanted a wall clock but oh my word they're expensive! I didn't want to spend more than $50 total on that wall. I already had the picture of the peony in sepia tone that I'd gotten at Kirkland's for $20 on sale. I went in search of a wall clock that was affordable, large, and that I liked. It was hard to find anything that fit all my criteria, but I finally found it at Big Lots for $21. For the right side I bought these three shadow boxes filled with paper flowers made from music sheets. It was $25 for all three at Target. Normally I don't pay full price for anything, much less at Target, but I felt the price was good since I was getting the set of three. The wall was done, and it was exactly what I wanted.

The living room furniture I'd had for 14 years was sold. The furniture in here changed a few times after that; I put our recliners in here until my son R moved and took them with him. Ultimately I put the sectional that I'd bought for the family room in our living room, taking it from a formal room to a cozy hangout. I bought this sectional at Costco in 2015 and it has held up very well. The price was great too; it was one of two that were left in the store so they'd dropped the price to $799. I had a rebate check which further dropped the price to $650. My favorite thing about this sectional is that it has a piece that allows the sectional to be right or left facing, or can be removed so it's a smaller sectional with an armless chair. The unit in the background I found on Amazon and I fell in love with it from the moment I saw it. It has that rustic looking wood that somehow blends in with the darker woods, and it has storage on the bottom which the previous piece that was there didn't have.

The chair and ottoman were free; my daughter's best friend (and matron of honor) was getting rid of her furniture and offered it to my daughter A. She asked if I wanted it and I said sure! It's fake leather in espresso but it's comfy, and with a blanket thrown over the back it looks kind of farmhouse. While my house isn't decorated in full farmhouse decor, it does have some touches of farmhouse. The jumbo rug is from Costco and was also bought with my rebate check, so I only paid $80 for an 8'x10' soft, cushy rug. I kept the coffee table and side tables along with the lamps that we'd bought even before my son E was born. The picture over the sofa is from Kirkland's. I paid $35 for it, more than I normally pay but it was perfect for that spot. 

While I was married, this room was a pass-through. No one ever wanted to sit on the uncomfortable sofa and loveseat that were here, and with a fully functional family room it felt like wasted space. By adding new comfy furniture and the television with fireplace, it became usable space. This was the first of several transformations that I'll be documenting here. Yep, there's more to come!